(00:01):

Hi, I'm Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds each week. I'll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You'll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let's go. Hello everybody. Welcome back. So I am out on a walk and I had this idea for a podcast I wanted to do, so I thought, you know what? I'm going to take y'all on a walk with me and talk. 

(00:50):

Let my neighbor stare at me like I'm a goof butt and all the things. But you might hear some cars, you might even hear a random dog come up on me and bark. Supposedly this mic picks up pretty well just me, but just like living in the south, some dude with a big monster truck literally just drove by me in my neighborhood. So excuse any noise that you might hear. This is what I want to talk about today. There are three things that I hear people tell me all the time about why they're not able to lose weight and they're like frustrations. They're things that many of us think and we think that those are bad things or we think that they are the things that keep us from losing weight while they can help keep us from losing weight. I don't think the solution is what you think it is. 

(01:46):

I want to talk about 'em because what I don't want for women is for you to sit around with false ass shit in your brain that's pretending to be factual when it's not. Because if that's happening, it is impossible for you to get motivated to lose weight. It is really hard to experience long-term success. Or if you even do start trying to lose weight, you quickly quit. So let's talk about 'em. The first one is a lot of us will say, but I've never been able to lose weight before. I'm terrified of failing, so I really want to break this apart. Most of the time when people tell me I'm so scared to try again, I don't think I can fail one more time. That is because you have this belief that because you haven't lost weight in the past, it means that you can't lose weight now or it means that the probability of you being able to lose weight now is like zero and that is the worst way to look at it. 

(03:00):

So one of the things that I think it's Voltaire said, he had a quote that said, history doesn't repeat itself. Humans repeat themselves. And the first time I read this I was just like, damn, if that's not spot on. Because what ends up happening is when you are trying to lose weight, I don't care how many times you have failed in the past, it literally doesn't make a shit difference to what you're going to do today to unless you are sitting there thinking about today and thinking, I'm just going to fuck up. So every success story I've ever, I want you to just think about this. Number one, every success story that I have helped lose weight inside my program, including myself, did not need to lose weight because we were so successful in the past. Just think about that. Why did I start losing weight? 

(04:03):

Because I'd never done it before. I had not solved the puzzle. So on day one, before I lost a hundred pounds, the only thing I had experienced was a lot of failure and I wasn't going to be able to just sit there. Just think about it. If I just sat there and think like, well, I'd only failed for 30 straight years, guess I can't do it. I'm not going to get started. So on that day I remember thinking, I don't care how many times I've failed and I don't care what happens, but I'm just going to figure this out. And when I made that little shift in my brain too, I'm going to have to quit caring about what's happened in the past. I'm going to have to care more about what I need to do each day that got me focused on solving the right problem because when all you do is think about all the times you failed, your brain is not coming up with any solutions. 

(05:08):

It thinks that it's just a fact that you can't lose weight now, and that is not true. They'd be looking at a baby and going like, well, I mean shit. You've been sitting there crawling this whole time. I've watched you get up a few times. Guess you're not going to be a walker. We just wouldn't say those things. I know that sounds easy, but it is an illogical conclusion when you say, because I have failed diets in the past, it means I can't do it today or I won't be able to, or I am destined to keep failing. No one is destined to keep failing. What you are though is you have in front of you today and the next days ahead, you have total control and influence over those. Guess what? You ain't got control or influence over your past that has been said and done. 

(06:08):

You can't change any of that. Now here's what you can do with your past. You can learn from it. A lot of times when I'm working with people who are not members yet, I do a lot of classes and stuff, if you're on my list, if you haven't signed up for my free course, you should be on it because very often I send out invites to take a little free class to kind of understand more about what's going on in the world of weight loss and one of the things that I teach in there is that most diets haven't even given you what you needed in order to lose weight if you weren't tackling things like how do you not feel like a failure every single day so that you can get started, if you're not tackling secret and nighttime eating, I don't care how many calories somebody gives you, I don't give a fuck what their food list looks like. 

(07:04):

None of that matters if every single night, at the end of the day, you are so fucking wore out from being everybody's caregiver but your own. If you've been going, going, going, taking no breaks, it's at night when everybody goes to bed. That is the first time you get a moment to breathe and the only way you know how to relax is with food. Otherwise, you are still trying to do your to-do list. You're trying to cram in a few more things to do when you're already exhausted. It does not matter what the food plan says and it will not matter how many calories you got. We have to work on the real shit standing in the way of weight loss. If you're not working on those things, no diet is going to work and it'll not be because you are a failure. It'll not be because something's wrong with you. 

(08:02):

It will a hundred percent of the time be because you were given about 60% of what you need to lose weight and 40% of it was denied. You just think about this. Let's say you're going to put a puzzle together and you get the box. There's a thousand pieces and you're only going to win the prize if you put it together according to the picture. As you build it, you get about 600 pieces in place and 400 of them were denied you. They never gave it to you. You got to turn your work in. Would you just be like, whoa, I'm such a failure. Oh my God, something must be wrong with me. I can't even build a picture. You would not do that because you would sit there and you would reason that you didn't get everything you needed, but this is what I watch women do all day every day before they join my program. 

(09:06):

Blame the fucking selves for not being able to lose weight when for 40 years, 30 years, however many years it's been that you've been trying to lose weight, you never once got introduced to the idea of how to change your habits like a normal person. You were never taught the nine types of emotional eating that all women do. You were never given the supports that you actually needed. When it comes to one of the foundations of my program is we got to start meeting our basic human needs, and let me just tell you ladies, basic human needs are not. You get seven hours of sleep and you get your water every day. I mean, for fuck's sake, basic human needs are things like, do you feel loved in this world? And a lot of you'll be like, Corrine, well, my partner never tells me and my boss, they don't ever tell me I do a good job. 

(10:07):

I don't give a fuck what those people tell you or don't. You know why most women don't feel loved? They don't know how to look in the mirror without having a laundry list of what's not good enough about 'em. You can't even sit by yourself for 10 minutes without pulling apart what you should be doing, what you ain't done, who needs you, why you shouldn't be sitting here. That's like another reason why we overeat. So many of my clients do what's called transition eating, and this is where you are going from one thing you don't like doing to the next thing you don't like doing and you haven't even, we end up eating to gear up for the next thing instead of taking a look at our life and going through and making sure that the things that we're doing in our life we actually want to, that it wasn't just something someone told us we should do. 

(11:06):

We haven't even taken the time to pull shit like that apart. We're just showing up in life over and over and over again, meeting society and other people's expectations and we wonder why we turn to food so much. That's why I keep saying, y'all got to quit blaming yourself for your history. Most people listen to this podcast, I will guarantee you are not sitting there at fault for not being able to lose weight. You are sitting there because you have been told to lose weight in a half-ass way. I'm not saying that if you were to count galleries that you can't lose weight, all that stuff works to a point, but if you lose all of your weight and you still can't look in the mirror without saying you could be a better daughter, you should probably call your mother more often. 

(12:04):

You should be a better wife. You really should do more for your husband. You, Susie's mom is always at the PTA things, but you don't get to do any PTA because you've got a job and then you feel guilty for that shit because you're off working when Susie's mom doesn't have a job and she can go and you can't. That's the stuff we have to work through because I don't give a damn how thin you get. I don't give a damn how you lose your weight if we are not working on why you're overeating to begin with, no diet will last, and that is not your fault for being a failure. That is because you just haven't been given what you need. So remember, whenever you're worried about starting again, history doesn't repeat itself, but humans will and that means you've got to be on guard for the next time you want to lose weight. 

(13:06):

Trying to just deprive yourself again, restrict again, undereat again, count calories again. When it ain't worked 30 times in a row, we have to remember that we are the ones that have to quit repeating ourselves. So if you're going to use your past, go back and look at, alright, the last time I did this, it didn't work. What was wrong with the process? Don't fall into the trap of thinking about what was wrong with you. Always look at the process, what was missing in the process because you're going to need to solve those things in order for anything to work in the future. Number two, and this is important for people who this is what happens, you'll say things like, well, I know what to do. I'm just not doing it. And then a lot of times when we know what to do and we're not doing it, we go on a personal attack, we will say things like, and that's because I'm lazy and that's because I'm stupid and that's because I'm not good enough. 

(14:16):

No, here's how things work. Knowing what to do never helps the human brain do anything in the moment because you have to think before you do what? That's the missing thing. So a lot of times when people, they'll come into my program, they'll listen to the little short lessons on how we're going to eat and the little changes that we're going to make in the first few weeks. I like to keep things really small, doable changes. They're like, okay, well, I heard it and then in about a week, a few days, they forget something. They do what they always do anyway. All of a sudden they are just beating the shit out of themselves. Just go into town and I'm like, this is why I need you to listen to more lessons than on just what to do. This is why I including my program, a lot of explaining about how the human brain works because just because you know something, it doesn't mean that your brain is going to flip on a dime. 

(15:29):

It ain't no light switch, so there's no just turning it on and then now we're going to be perfect. What ends up happening is you learn to do new things and then you're going to have to think before you do them. You have to remind yourself to do them. You have to work through how to do them. It feels clunky when you're doing something new. And guess what women don't like. We don't like clunkiness. We just want everything to be easy. Well, you're going to have to stop making things so hard on yourself by not thinking that when something's clunky and something's not easy, this is how we end up making that hard. We tell ourselves, I must be stupid. I must be the only one. I'm no good at this. Everybody else is better at it. That's what makes change hard. When you are down on yourself, when you are going through the normal process of learning how to do something for the first time or learning something new and implementing it and changing your behaviors, it's supposed to be clunky fucking funking. 

(16:38):

It's supposed to be clunky. It's supposed to be clunky, but when you think it shouldn't and when it is clunky, something's wrong with you. Now you've made it hard. Now you are the one making everything hard because you're being hard on yourself. So one of the things that you've got to know is that when you know what to do, we have to be able to think before we do it. So sometimes you're going to need some training on how does your brain work? I'm a big believer in when you know more facts about how things happen, it is so much easier to be patient with yourself because you'll be like, oh, so for example, a habit takes up to 200 plus days to form, and when it becomes a real habit, that means you're not having to think before. You're not having to remind yourself. 

(17:39):

You're not having a lot of temptation to not do it. Now you're just kind of doing it and there's just not a lot going on, but there are phases of habit change and I mean it takes up to 200 days, but this is what I see most people do. They want to start losing weight, so they jump on a diet and they've always heard, they give themselves about three weeks of grace, like, well, it takes 21 days to form a habit, so for 21 days they're just trying their damnedest to be perfect, just trying to try and trying, and then if they ever wave during that first 21 days, or some people will give themselves grace and compassion and be like, well, it takes 21 days to form a habit. I'm just not used to it yet. After that, then we start thinking that every time we mess up or whatever, something must be wrong. 

(18:23):

That is not how it works. That first 21 days is just a taste of you having to really think hard before you do something. It's not until about the hundred to 125 day mark before you really get to the part where you think about doing the old thing and your brain automatically comes in and says, oh no, we're supposed to do this, and you decide which one you're going to do. Literally, I want you to think about this. There's the part, there's the phases of changing your habits where it's just very conscious. Just think about anytime that you've ever counted calories the first few weeks, you're having to look everything up. You don't know what the calories are in things. Even the app is hard to work on. This is why I don't like counting calories. There's a lot that you have to do. That's why my system's so much simpler, but we use calorie counting because people are in the free podcast. 

(19:22):

This is probably what you're thinking about all the time, so you got to learn how to use the app. You don't know things. You're having to measure things that first while takes a lot of work and effort. Then you eventually come to a place where you know some stuff, you've got some shortcuts and things like that, but you're still having to make yourself do it. You're still trying to figure things out. Then you go to a month or two where you know what to do, but you just don't want to, and so during that phase it's really important that you go through the next phase of habit change, which is weighing both sides. I don't want to do it, but I also need to do it for these reasons, and you have to tell yourself out. That's why you have to think before you do it. 

(20:14):

That phase lasts a while and that phase has to be repeated for so long until one day your brain will say, oh, let's just not do it, and then all of a sudden your brain will come in like the Flying monkeys out of the Wizard of Oz and say, no, we are going to do it because that's who we're becoming because we know that when we don't do it, we feel even worse. When it starts becoming automated that way and that happens at least at the 150 day mark, then things get a lot easier. You're not having to think so much. 

(20:53):

The reason why I tell you this is because so many of you do not realize that habit change takes a long time and it won't feel hard and it won't feel bad if you're not beating yourself up through the process, the actual thinking, the actual redirecting and stuff, it takes a little energy, but it doesn't feel bad. It just takes a little energy. What feels bad is when you beat yourself up over shit that feels bad. Okay, now we've got the last one, which is the man who can do average things when things are falling apart around them succeeds. This is one of my favorite quotes. I love it because it talks about how we've got to be okay with small changes. We can't be sitting around thinking that small changes aren't good enough. That is the biggest thing that I see my clients suffer with and I get it. 

(22:12):

You want to make tons and tons and tons of changes because you think the faster you lose weight, the better you're going to feel. Here's how it actually works. The faster you learn how to quit thinking things like, I'm probably going to fail because I always have. Well, I know what to do and I'm just not doing it. When you take all of that self-loathing shit out amongst the thousands of other things that you're probably doing that you don't even know that I can teach you that you're doing, guess what? It doesn't feel that hard. It doesn't feel that miserable. You feel a lot better, so you're willing to do the small changes and let me just tell you, the small changes are what end up working because I always tell people, number one, you have got to lose weight the way you're going to live your life. 

(23:09):

Number two, whatever you do to lose weight, it's got to stand up to when shit hits the fan. Too many of you are sitting around waiting for the perfect time, waiting for everything to line up. You are stuck in this mode of I can't start now because of this. Look, any diet that requires perfect timing is a diet destined for regain. Let me say that again. Any diet that is destined, I mean any diet where you are going to need perfect timing is a recipe. It's destined for you to regain your weight because you can't lose weight during the tough times. How the fuck do you think you're going to keep it off during the tough times and you are going to have tough times your entire life. You lose weight in your forties, in your fifties or sixties, you're probably going to start losing people or you're going to have illnesses. 

(24:16):

Things are just going to happen. Kids are going to get married and it's going to be busy and you're going to need to be the mother of the bride. All the things, if you keep trying to lose weight, only when things are perfect, then you might as well say, I only want to be thin when times are perfect, but when times are not perfect, I choose to be overweight. I want to be an emotional eater. I want to be someone who doesn't know how to take care of themselves. When everything goes to shit, that's what you're signing up for, so when you can do simple, average things, the boring shit that I teach to lose weight, when things are falling apart around you, girl, you're going to keep your weight off just like me. When I lost my a hundred pounds, it wasn't long after that. 

(25:11):

I had two significant challenges come up in my life. The first one, my grandmother got diagnosed with cancer. My grandmother practically raised me and I was her nighttime caregiver for months while I had a two and a half year old. It would've been so easy, and there were so many times I wanted to eat through it and I wanted to say, I'm just going to have to stop by the drive-through because I got to get to grannies. I don't have time to eat healthy because I'm taking care of my grandmother and she's dying, and I refuse to do it refused. I figured out how to make it work. I figured out how not to eat my sorrows. I did a lot of crying and a lot of caregiving, but I did not gain weight. And then a couple of years after that, my son was diagnosed with autism, and when that happened, the first couple of days, I ate my face off. 

(26:11):

I remember Chris and I sharing a pizza and me looking at him and saying, I ain't got it in me. I need to eat. I'm going to deal with this tomorrow. And after a couple of days, I talked to him and I said, I'm going to take care of this baby and I'm going to figure out how I will not gain weight over this. I'm going to figure out how I can do both, and when I put my brain to work on a quality problem, I got some quality simple solutions. I wasn't going to be able to keep doing all that I was doing, but I was going to have to find some simple things that I could do and it made all the difference in the world. Here I am 15 years later, still got my a hundred pounds off and now teaching you, so you've got to stop waiting for the right time. 

(27:05):

You've got to make sure that you are doing the simple things that you're good at, the basic things that you're not trying to do, Herculean things because it just shouldn't be required to lose weight. Losing weight should fit your life. You shouldn't have to change your life just to lose weight. All I want for you is to, as you lose weight, to figure out the life you really want to live, and I want to be the person that helps you get there. All right, y'all have a good week. Don't forget, leave us a review if you get a lot out of this podcast. I would really appreciate it. Talk to you soon. Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to no bs freecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You'll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet advice. I'll see you next week.