(00:01):

Hi, I'm Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds each week. I'll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You'll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let's go. Hello everybody. Welcome back. So today we are going to talk about five tricks that I came up with that should be able to help you stay on track better when you're trying to lose weight. And in fact, I think you could use these tips throughout your entire life. 

(00:52):

You do not need to just use them in your weight loss, but the reason why I want to go over them is because a lot of times when I talk to people, they think that losing weight has more to do with doing it right? Having the what foods should I eat, how many calories should I be eating? And I'm just going to tell you right now, none of that matters, none of it. If you're doing these five things, I bet you lose weight because what I firmly believe is that in order for women to finally be able to lose the weight that they want and to be able to keep it off, you have got to be attacking the root cause issues of why you're overweight to begin with. Because if you're not attacking the root cause, you can probably count your points and you can do your calories for a while. 

(01:42):

You can cut out bread or whatever carb fantastic myth that's going around right now. You can do those tactical things for a little bit and then eventually whatever reason you are overeating to begin with is going to nag at you. And if you don't fix the nagging stuff, then it does not matter what anybody has told you about weight loss, it's not going to work. You have got to be able to have things that you can go to when the naggy shit comes up. So today what I want to do is I'm going to talk about these five tricks because they help you with your mental game and that's what we all really need. If you're going to lose weight, you got to learn how to be a mental ninja because I want you to think about every diet that didn't work, every diet that has failed you in the past, it was because at some point you probably had a bad day and got off track, you messed up in some way and decided to go all fuck it in each face off. 

(02:47):

You had a week or two where the scale didn't move and so you quit. I just want you to think about there are these things that happen and then we end up turning to food. It is not because we, I'm just telling you right now, you don't need more calorie counting apps. You don't need more food lists, you do not need more fasting techniques. You do not need more shakes. You just don't need that shit, but you do need real things that you can do when you're unmotivated, when you're worrying, when the real shit that gets us off our game bubbles up. So here are the five we're going to talk about. We're going to talk for those of you who have a hard time losing weight because you have this big fear of missing out. We are going to talk about people who get off track because they just don't want to do things. 

(03:38):

We're going to talk about fuck it mode. When you make that mistake and suddenly you're just like, screw it, I'm just going to eat this and I'll do better tomorrow. We're going to talk about those of you who it's always about not being good enough. It's like I try to lose weight, but then eventually the pressure of life catches up. I always feel behind. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I feel like I'm taking away from my family. Women just always feel like they're doing something wrong in some way and that pressure builds up to now needing to eat. And then we're also going to talk about catastrophizing. This is where we sit around and we think about every little thing that could go wrong and might go wrong. Alright, so let's talk about the first one, the fear of missing out. And this one's simple. 

(04:27):

This is just where, let's say you're going to a restaurant and you are going to eat a salad, a delicious salad at that and everybody around you is having drinks and planning on what dessert they're going to get and you're sitting there and you're just like, oh, see, I never can eat what I want. Everybody gets what they want, I don't get to have it. And you start feeling very deprived and you have this fear that you're not going to be able to have a good time. A lot of us do this, especially around the holidays. We have a big fear that we're going to miss out if I don't eat that treat that only my mama makes once a year. I'm not saying don't have it, but a lot of us are sitting around only thinking about when it comes to losing weight, when it comes to food, what we're missing out on. Here's the trick I want you to use. I want to think about when you're worried about missing out on something. I want you to make a list of what's called the joy of missing out. I don't think we spend enough time sitting around thinking through what we think about when it comes to weight loss. To me that is the unsung hero of being able to lose weight. It's to slow down enough to be able to think through like is this what I really want to do right now? 

(05:52):

Am I really missing out? Let's say you're at that restaurant and you're having your salad and everybody's got a glass of wine but you and you're sitting there and you're just thinking about how much it sucks to be the only one not drinking. My advice would be to think about what is the joy of missing out here? Everybody else is going to wake up tomorrow with a little less sleep, a little more tired. You're going to wake up refreshed, you're going to wake up not having wine ass. That's what I used to get back when I was drinking wine. I don't really drink wine much anymore because I get wine ass, which means if I have a glass or two of wine, I'm for sure having the diarrhea the next day. I also don't sleep as well. I get wine sweats in the middle of the night. 

(06:37):

Alcohol just doesn't agree with me the same way it used to when I was in my thirties and forties. Now that I'm 50, it's like alcohol. It is like the devil these days. One of the things that's helped me in particular just in that is I make a list of the joy of missing out on things when I'm not partaking in things. Here are all the benefits that I get now that is a lot easier to do when you're not at the restaurant. So if you think about times where you get overly consumed about worrying, you're going to miss out on something worrying. You're not going to be there worrying that everybody gets to have it, but I want you to do this in your journaling. When you're at home, I want you to be thinking about, but what is the joy of missing out? 

(07:26):

What is the upside to it? So that's how we deal with fear of missing out. Now the second one is the, I don't want toss and this is pretty much everybody, I think everybody tells me all the time I'd be losing weight Corinne if I just wanted to. I just don't want to do things. I don't want to go to the gym. I don't want to eat what I planned. I don't want to stop eating even though I'm full. This one, there's a couple of things you need to know. Number one is you are not entitled to want to do shit and it makes sense that you don't want to do half of the shit that you need to do in order to lose your weight. The way I teach weight loss, we are not jacking you up with a lot of shit that you're not going to want to do naturally. That's why I keep things to four simple things that we're going to do to lose weight and then we're just going to work on our mind, work on our mind, work on our mind. Just like with this stuff I'm teaching you today, but I think the big thing we always have to remember is that just because you don't want to do something that doesn't mean that it's a good enough excuse to not do it. That helps me a lot. 

(08:39):

For a long time I would not do things simply because I didn't want to and then I would sit around and whine and complain and wish and hope that I would just be motivated, that I would just want to do things. I hadn't earned motivation. I hadn't earned the desire to want to do it, and I talk about this a lot inside my membership. You have to earn the right to feel motivated to do things, which means in the beginning you got to do things that feel scary. You got to do things that you're not sure if it's going to work. You got to do things that seem like it's going to be really hard. We have to do those things first and see what happens and then we get to decide if we want to truly be doing it. A lot of times what I see people do is tell me they don't want to do things and it shit that they ain't done in forever, that they've never tried, that they've only tried a couple of times and they sucked at it. 

(09:40):

They haven't even earned the right yet to want to do it because they've figured out how to do it better. So there's always that. Now, the trick that I like to use during I don't want to moments is I always tell myself, can I adjust? Can I adjust? Is such an easy way to get yourself going. Once something's in motion, it is a lot easier to keep it in motion. Today is a really good example. I recorded this podcast earlier today. I was out on a walk. I was feeling good. I am sure it was a powerful motivational moment. Well, my fucking recorder didn't work and so I lost 30 minutes of work this afternoon. I'm having to record it again and I'm supposed to go to the gym after this and my ass is tired and I don't want to at all. I didn't want to record this podcast. 

(10:39):

I sure as hell don't want to go to the gym after, but this is what I told myself, can I just sit down in my office, start recording and if I get going and it sounds good, I'll keep going and if I get going and it sounds like shit, then I'll stop. Well, here we are. We are on number two already with the workout. I put on all my clothes and just told myself, when you are done, can you just drive to the gym and let's see what happens if I get there and I really don't want to lift weights and stuff, I will just walk. Can I adjust? Is one of those questions that you can use to get a next step going. We are not looking for a huge step. We are not looking for the perfect step. We are just looking to get off our sad ass that is unmotivated and then what I find with can I just is very often I will get going and then notice that once I'm moving it's not as bad as I was thinking it was going to be when I was. 

(11:50):

I always love how I don't want to do things while I'm sitting on the couch. Well, no shit. I'm sitting there dicking around on my phone watching TV on my butt. I ain't supposed to want to get up and go do anything productive. I tell myself that all the time. I'm like, why do you think you should be motivated right now? Why do you think you should be excited? No, I'm having a good time sitting right here so I don't have false ass expectations on myself. I tell myself, of course you want to keep sitting here, but can I just go do whatever? Can I just start with this? I'm telling you it is a magical three words. Next is F it eating, F it. Eating is. When we say fuck it, I'm just going to eat it. I'm going to get out of my system, I'm going to start over in the morning, fuck it eating. 

(12:46):

It's pervasive and it shows up when you've made mistakes. It shows up when you're unmotivated, it shows up when you're tempted, it shows up all the damn time. This is what I want to tell y'all. Most of us know 90% of the time when we are going to go like fuck it and just do it. So if you know you have a pattern, then you have the solution staring you in the face. I can't stand it when people tell me I couldn't lose Wayne, I can't fix it because I go into fucking mode. I'm like, at least you know what you go into fucking mode over. So let's damn it make a plan. Let's not right now your plan is I whine about it. If I go into fuck it mode, then I whine. You got to have a new if then plan and that is the answer to fuck it mode. 

(13:37):

You need to sit down and you need to figure out when do you most often do it. A lot of times it's going to be when you make mistakes. Most people if they overeat, if they eat a little candy, if they start eating at night, maybe you go and you have one glass of wine, you're like, fuck it. Just going to have a good time. You need a plan because right now whether you want to sit down with a piece of paper and make if then plans or not, that's on you, but you got if then plans. I just want you to make 'em on purpose because right now your if then plan is if I think fuck it, then I go and we want to come up with very specific things. If I overeat, then I and then insert what you're going to do. 

(14:28):

If you're one of my no BS members, here's your if. Then plan for an overeat. If you overeat, log into the membership site and go straight to ask coaches, tell them why you think it happened. That should be your plan. Instead of eating extra, just like, oh, this is one of those times where I can take, I just witnessed myself do this. Now I'm going to go and I'm going to get professional help with this from people who know what the fuck they're doing from people who can, they don't feel bad about it. They're just looking at it like, okay, this is what you did. This is what I think happened. This is what we should do next. My coaches look at your shammy shit without the shame. They're just like, they always think there's just the answer to this and we're just going to have to keep plugging away until we get your unique answers. 

(15:21):

So come up with what are the times that I go into fuck it mode and I need to create new if then statements for it and you write that shit down. We're not going to be sitting there trying to remember this stuff in the moment. We are going to write this shit down and then we are going to take those post-it notes and put 'em someplace. We are going to put notes in our phone. We are going to make it accessible to ourselves so that in the moment when the shay shit starts up, we can be like, alright, if my shame starts up, then I will read my instructions I wrote for myself so that I can do better. Okay? The next one is called It's not good enough. Women sit around all day long thinking, well, I didn't do enough. Good job on this one. 

(16:09):

Didn't do a good enough job with this. I could have done a little better with that. We kind of get stuck in this. It's not good enough and your brain does this on purpose, so I don't want you to feel broken because you do it. I'm sure all of us can recant the 5,000 ways. Some parent, peer, teacher, friend or something from our past set us up to think about not being good enough, but we ain't worrying about that today. Here's what we're going to do. We are going to break it down to brain science. Every human is always looking for ways that things can be better or for potential problems. Me, I am the kind of person who thinks things aren't good enough. My brain is always scanning for that's not good enough. You're not good enough in an effort to get me to do better, and I understand that intellectually, whereas my husband, he's always, he's so fucking positive. 

(17:01):

It is. I'm going to tell you right now as someone who is not naturally positive being married to someone who is, sometimes I just want to shake his face, say like, don't you ever have a bad day. He looks and scans the world and he thinks how things can be better all the time, even himself, but not in a self, but not in a self-loathing way. Me though, when I'm doing it, I'm kind of in a self-loathing mode. So here's what I want to tell you. You've got to train your brain because it's not automatically going to do this just like mine and just like 90% of women, you have to train your brain to find what we call glimmers. Glimmers are this new thing I've been seeing all over the internet and they are simply just, you have to on purpose, tell yourself when things go right. 

(17:56):

You have to on purpose, be looking for little micro improvements, little things that are showing improvement, little things that you are missing that shows you're okay. So for example, let's say that you're at work and you're all the time on edge. On edge. I have coached women inside my membership who have done full on binges, full on overeats about their work. They'll be talking about their job and they'll say, I'm just so worried every day I'm at the job. No one's telling me I'm doing a good job. I am afraid I'm going to get fired, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, all right, well, tell me how many write-ups you've had. None. How many deadlines you missed? None. I'm like, well, how do you know you're doing a bad job? And they're like, well, no one really tells me that I'm doing a good job. 

(18:52):

And I said, yeah, but how are you telling you you're doing a good job? Because if you're not getting write-ups and you're not missing deadlines, if we were just sitting here and talking and you weren't being emotional about this, do you think you're doing a good job? And almost every time they say, well, yeah. And then they start remembering when, well, last week my boss did say thank you for this. What happens if you're not intentionally looking for how things are improving for where you are good enough, where you're better than good enough, where you're actually on the hunt for what's right? What ends up happening is your brain ignores that stuff. It just sweeps it under the rug because it's not wired naturally to index it. So what I need you to do, if you don't want to be sitting around on the edge of terror all the time, always feeling bad about yourself, have an imposter syndrome worrying about what other people think. 

(20:00):

We got to look for glimmers and you've got to do this on paper. It is not enough to just notice them. Most people that suffer with not good enough syndrome are never going to reverse it by simply trying to think about it. Sometimes times you cannot do that. You're going to have to go to work on your self-esteem and this is the most valuable work you'll ever do. You've got to tell yourself, I am on the hunt to find out what is working in my life, what's getting better in my life, especially my no BS women. Y'all talk about this inside our Facebook group. You need to celebrating yourself in there. And this is important because if you celebrate yourself in our group, and this is always what happens when a woman celebrates herself in our group stands out and other people flock to it and they're like, oh my gosh, so inspiring. 

(21:04):

Thank you so much for sharing this. I had the same problem and you sharing how you overcame it gives me hope. That starts a snowball effect for you and it lands in your brain better. If you're one of my members, I want you sharing glimmers that you're finding inside our Facebook group as often as you can. Positivity begets more positivity not just from you but from others, but it also starts locking in your identity. It also starts giving you good feeling hits and your brain likes to feel good. That's why it turns to food right now. What we're going to do is we're going to give it feel good hits from noticing what you're doing better in life so that it doesn't need the food so much. This is why I keep telling y'all, quit looking for more diets. Stop cutting out carbs, stop fasting. 

(21:52):

Stop doing shit that doesn't help root cause reasons why you're overweight. All right, last one, catastrophizing. This is where your brain goes crazy on only thinking about everything that's wrong. We do not want to be in what we call hypothetical hell, hypothetical hell is where you are. What if this happens and what if this happens and what if that happens and this could happen? Just take a breath. Number one, the way that we are going to beat this is number one is you've got to learn how to calm yourself down in the moment that your brain goes fucking haywire. When you are a DHD hypothetical, hell is a real thing. People who have anxiety, people who have depression, hypothetical hell is one of those things that we do. We go nuts on catastrophizing. The only way to break this cycle is to rewire your brain and retrain your brain on how to think. 

(22:59):

So the first thing we have to do is we have to know when we're doing it. We have to listen for it not only in our brain but also in our body. We have to be real in tune with when I'm in catastrophe land, when I am in hypothetical hell, what am I feeling in my body? Am I breathless? Is my heart pounding? Am I sweating? Does it feel like I got a thousand thoughts in my head? Am I shaking a little bit? We want to figure out what happens in the body and be like, oh, that's my signal. That's what's happening. I'm in hypothetical hell right now. The second thing we got to do is we got to calm your nervous system down first because when you go into this agitated state, it's very hard to logic your way out. It's almost impossible to think your way out. 

(23:46):

Most people can't. They need to first get that nervous system under control. We got to ground it for some people. For me, if I do a few deep breaths and I actually get up, I get away from my desk or get away from the situation and I go walk for a minute, that is enough to get me back to grounded. Most of us, what we do when we go into hypothetical hell, we have a technique to ground us. We're grounding ourselves with food. This is why it's really important when you're losing weight that you're not just doing a diet and thinking, well, that's going to fix it. Because if any of this stuff is resonating, that's why your diets keep failing because if you are in hypothetical hell, I will tell you what won't make you feel better. Counting calories not being able to eat food you love, that's going to actually agitate things. 

(24:41):

You've got to be learning how to do these other things so that you're not leaning on food so that food is just a natural part of your life, not the thing you rely on to get through the day or the thing that you have to take away from yourself because you're so bad and you can't have these things because you're overweight. So what we want to do to combat catastrophizing is we want to make a long list of everything that we think is actually going to happen. So once we get our breathing, once we get kind of grounded, I want you to get some paper and I want you to just make a list of here's all the things I'm worried about that's going to happen, and then I want you to just take a few more deep breaths and I want you to look at 'em and I want you to highlight the ones that are likely to happen. 

(25:30):

We're going to cross out the ones that are the one percenters. Probably never going to happen. My delusional state worries because a lot of us have those. I always love it whenever something happens, like let's say somebody says something negative about me on the internet, my brain always likes to go, yeah, and nobody loves you. Really? My hypothetical hell is like, well, what if everyone gets mad at you? It's like there's statistically no way that the entire world could get mad at me in one moment. I have people in my life that I know absolutely love me no matter what I do, at least I got them. My husband better not be getting fucking pissed because of a Facebook post. So we want to look for and highlight the things that really stand a good chance of happening and we want to set aside the stuff that's probably not, it's just a fear or a worry. 

(26:32):

The ones that really could stand a chance to happen in, you can then use your if then statements. If this happens, then what? Give your brain a sense of relief because when it's in hypothetical hell, it's trying to figure out how to avoid all worst case scenarios. But what most of us do is we don't figure out how to avoid them. We just sit and think about them. We just run the scenarios wild without really grounding our brain. The last part of this is, and this is the hard part for you, so buckle up sister, you are now going to make a list. However many things were on your hypothetical hell list. You are now going to have to make a list of best and most likely positive outcomes. You have to teach your brain how not to only give you the worst case scenario. 

(27:30):

Our brains do not know how to throw up possibility naturally. It is not designed to do that, so we have to teach it how to do it, and that's what making the list. Every time you catch yourself in this, going through your worries, going through things and making a equal list of best possible outcomes, likely positive outcomes, and this is the thing for every negative one you've got, there has to be a positive to it. There just is. You might not believe it, you might not think it can happen, but there are stuff that's on your worst case scenario if that you also have a tinge of doubt that could happen. We just worry about those because we're always going to be on guard for pain more than we're ever going to be on guard for things that work out. We don't have to precipitate on that, so I don't even know if that was the right word. 

(28:27):

I just busted a big quarter word out on y'all. Nobody right in and saying like, cor, that's not really a word. Y'all get what I mean? Alright, so to recap, you have the fear of missing out. We're going to be talking about the joy of missing out. I don't want to, we're going to use, can I just, when we are going to identify our fuck it mode moments we are now going to do if then statements when we're talking about it's not good enough or I'm not good enough, we are now going to look for the glimmers, and then when it comes to catastrophizing, we are going to be making an equal list of what could possibly happen for the positive. Again, I want to tell you, stop doing diets that are not teaching you shit like this. This is why you need to be a member of my program inside our program. 

(29:20):

This is the real stuff. This is the stuff that my coaches help you with. This is the stuff that I teach deeply inside our weight loss program, and that is why our women lose weight for the last damn time. Y'all have a good week and I'll see you soon. Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to no bs freecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You'll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcast help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet. I'll see you next week.