(00:00):

We're talking about excuses today, we're talking about busting your excuses for breaking your plans. We're going to zero in now on what it is about breaking plans. The first thing is step one, if you are going to stop making excuses to bust your plan is you've got to make plans every single day so that you can see what your excuses are. And this is the big mistake that I see a lot of people make. They give up on making plans because they aren't following them. Your plan, it's not about following it. I don't create the plan. We're not doing the plan solely so that you can follow it perfectly every day. We use the plan as a way to know what excuses are getting us off our game. Let's say you make a plan for your food and you don't follow it. This allows us to see, did you break your plan just because you didn't want to hurt someone's feelings? 

(01:08):

That's good to know because now we can work on alright now in the future, we don't want to just say, well, now I've got to start telling people no and hurt their feelings. You need to be working on do people's feelings actually get hurt? When I say no or is that something I've been telling myself for a long time, I wonder what people would actually think. Some of you are just thinking shit and you haven't even questioned if it's true or not if so long that you're missing obvious wins. So let's say that you make your plan and you notice for three straight weeks you do good all day until dinner and then every night at dinner you're just like eating whatever you want and it starts a fucking eating cycle. That's called good to know. When you stop making plans, you never learned how to be the kind of person that knows how to be there for yourself. 

(02:09):

You're like, I know how to be there for myself. Avoid me. That is not being there for yourself. The better thing to do would be like, I am feeling shame. Is this something to feel ashamed about or is my pattern eating at night signaling there's a bigger problem? It ain't my shame that needs to get solved. The bigger problem is the room is what is it about at night that I feel like I need to eat in order to be okay? That's the fucking question we want to be asking. So when we're doing our plans, we want to make sure that we're not, if your thought is I'm supposed to follow them and do them right, then of course when you do them wrong, you would feel shame. Not because you did it wrong, but because your thought about the plan is broken. It's a terrible thought to have. 

(03:11):

The goals with the plan. Plans have multiple goals. One is to take care of your needs. So sometimes what happens is when you're breaking plans, you will see there's a lot of people that end up seeing like, oh, I'm not taking care of my food needs. I'm planning like I'm doing an old diet. I'm not actually planning foods that I like. That could be one thing that gets uncovered. Another thing that could get uncovered is a lot of times when we're breaking plans, we start noticing areas in our life where our emotional needs aren't getting met. And so now when we break the plan, we see an area we can target to fix our emotional needs. 

(03:58):

We also can see broken plans sometimes it's actually a good reason for a lot of you, you'll notice that you made break plans, but when you do, you actually make better decisions. So let's say that you had planned, this happens to be a lot like last night I was supposed to have chicken livers. That's not supposed to be my big chicken liver night and stuff. It was on my plan. I go to order it, they're fucking out of chicken livers. I was so pissed. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? How is there a sellout sold out on chicken livers? My ass? I've worked in the restaurant industry enough to know sold out means we didn't get our shipment in. We didn't plan well, so I didn't get my chicken livers and a lot of you literally would be like, oh, I broke my plan man, and you'd clutch your pearls. 

(04:55):

I ended up having soup last night. I was just like, you know what? If I can't have my chicken livers, I'm just not ordering food. I'm not going to just order meatloaf or order something else because I really wanted chicken livers. I want to save that for later in the week. At some point they're going to have them. So tonight I'm just going to have soup. I ended up eating healthier last night. I would still mark that as not following my plan and I would mark that on my habit tracker with a special little smiley face or something to show like, oh look, sometimes when I break my plans it's for really good reasons and I actually even do better. Good to know. So breaking your plans, don't create the shame when your plans are broken. What I would love for you to feel is curious. 

(05:46):

I wonder why. I wonder what pattern I can find here. I wonder what it is I needed and then sometimes y'all, you're going to break plans and it is not going to have anything to do with emotional eating. Sometimes you're going to break plans because you were just doing something and you totally forgot to eat what you wrote down. It's good to know and rather than being ashamed of that, just be like, oh, I got busy and I wasn't even thinking about it. So the next time I'm having a busy day, maybe on those days I just put a sticky note someplace to remind me of what I'm going to eat. 

(06:23):

But the big thing about your plans is for all of you, you really need to be making them so we can really see what it is you truly need because at the end of the day, you're not losing weight because we're eating because we're hungry and we're stopping at enough. At the end of the day, the reason why all of you will lose your weight and be able to keep it off is because we are solving the root cause problems of why you're eating. And if you don't make plans, you have now taken away your ability to see the root cause problems and if you don't solve those, you don't feel great. 

(07:10):

And if you don't solve those, you end up losing weight. Then you gain weight back because those root problems they've got to be plugged. Or eventually you'll plug 'em with food again because once the emergency of losing weight, the intensity and the focus is over. You still got your root cause problem staring you in the face. So a root cause problem for most women is just not feeling like you're good enough. A lot of women go around and even if you're not self-loathing and attacking yourself vehemently all day, a lot of us go around just thinking we're just not quite good enough. If we just looked a certain way, if I just worked a little harder, if I could just do this extra stuff for my family, I would just be such a better mother. We just are always sitting around thinking about how we're just short of being good enough. 

(08:14):

That is exhausting. It is very, very exhausting. It wears on you. You may not be beating yourself up, but you damn sure aren't giving yourself credit either, and it just wears on you and it makes you tired. And so for a lot of you who just feel slightly not good enough always like something's amiss, you lose your weight and while you're losing your weight, it will feel intoxicating because that will be the only place in life that you're giving yourself credit, oh my god, doing so good. The scale will go down. It'll be like, yes, finally look at me, blah, blah, blah. Then you lose your weight or you get to the natural place where it stalls and that feel good, good enough is now not getting plugged. This is especially prevalent when you hit goal weight. 

(09:12):

You can ride out for about two months, then your brain starts getting used to the new you and it doesn't have a way to feel good about itself anymore because it's just like, I'm just used to you being thin. Now I'm like, I'm not noticing it. I'm not excited about it anymore. I'm not down on it, but I'm just like, you kind of go back into the little bit of being critical. Now it's like because we never plugged the hole of being good enough, guess what we're doing? We're looking in the mirror and being like, yeah, I lost all that weight, but I didn't realize I was going to have some saggy skin. I mean, I lost all that weight, but I still can't quite wear the things I really want to wear. I don't really look the way I wanted to. Then we're just right back where we started. The not good enough that never got plugged is staring us in the face and we have nothing to plug it with because we never learned how. We didn't do the things on the way down the scale that would've alerted us to the fact if you weren't planning and stuff and noticing certain little patterns, you were just will powering your way through and stuff. You didn't notice those little holes that need to be plugged and when the weight loss is over, you start eating again. 

(10:32):

Okay, so I hope I've sold you first on the ideas of step one. We have got to make sure that we are making our plans so that we can see our excuses when they come up. The other thing about making a plan also is it will help you look ahead at your day to help you try to navigate some excuses. That's one of the things that I do with my plan. The way I think about it is I like to think about what's going to get in my way today, and I try to always write down an excuse that I have. Just like today I was writing about, I'm working out this afternoon. I had to start working first thing this morning and I wrote on there, the thing that's going to get in my way today on going to the gym is I'm going to tell myself I'm too tired. 

(11:23):

Here's what I know about today. Wednesdays are my busiest day of the week. This is the day I do the most calls I am on until about three o'clock today. I will be tired. So now I've got to think about what do I want to be telling myself when my brain is going to be exhausted, yawning, coming off all the adrenaline of doing my calls and it still needs to go get in the gym. So I wrote down practical things like you're going to want to tell yourself you're too tired. Here's what I know. You can rally. That's also true. You can go and get started and see what happens to just see if you're too tired or if you're just unmotivated, which is very different. I always like to tell myself, Corinne, there's a difference between being motivated and a difference between being tired. Unmotivated is one of those things you're just going to go do it. You don't need to be motivated, you just need to know it's good for you long term. Those are hard decisions to make. I'm willing make tough decisions in that moment. Now, too tired. Very often, I would say 90% of the time I go do something to see how tired I am. So I will go to the gym and I will start and if I'm too tired, I will pull the plug. I'll do something else or I'll just go home. 

(12:49):

But more times than not, once I get going, I surprise myself. I do rally and so those are the things I have to tell myself on paper so that I'm prepared today at three o'clock when the version of me who's sitting there is just like, oh God, I also laid out my clothes. They are on the bed because here's what I know about Corinne. When she says she's too tired and she wants to skip out on doing something she said she would do. The first thing I do is go to bed, and so I've laid my workout clothes exactly where my ass will go plant so I can't eat. It's like I don't even have to walk to the closet. My shoes and my clothes are sitting right there to remind me. You said you were going to go, and so I just tell myself, all you got to do is put the clothes on. 

(13:37):

So the first thing I do is I tell myself I got to put the clothes on. Then the next thing I say is like, all right, what is next? You just got to get in the car. We just need to get in the car. Let's go get in the car and see what we think. I get in the car and then I just like, well, can you just go on to the gym? Let's just get there and let's do a warmup set and let's just see what happens. And then by that point I've got momentum. Okay, step two. So step one is we got to make our plans. We got to make the plans. We can see what our excuses are so that we can start overcoming them instead of just abiding by them. Number two is you want to see what you were thinking when you were breaking your plan. 

(14:21):

So a lot of you want to do your plan and then you break it, you beat yourself up and then you quit doing your plans. Stop doing that. Dial in what's going on, do either or habit or mindless eating. We just got to come up with simple techniques to try to break that because we're not emotionally attached to those. So that just takes time and patience. That's it, and getting you aware of it. But then we have the emotional eating side and I will just tell you on average 30% of overeating usually falls in the mindless and habit eating centers. 70% of overeating falls into some type of emotional eating. We are either trying to create a feeling or we are trying to repress a feeling, bury a feeling, so sometimes we're just trying to create some fun because we don't have enough fun. We're trying to create some connection. 

(15:18):

We don't really know how to connect with our partners or our children unless we're eating. It's just something that we've been trained to do. We may be lonely at night. I'll give you an example of my own life. Mr. Crabtree has been going to bed at 6 47 o'clock last night. We were literally laying in bed watching TV and I said, Hey, I can I lay on your chest and watch tv? We rarely snuggled. We are just not snugglers, and I felt like snuggling last night. I get on his ass, I'm laying there and he's laid like this, just sprayed out and 7 0 5, I had to move because he was snoring so loud. I was like, well, he's done gone to bed. He goes to bed so early, and so I'm laying there. It's like eight 30 and I start wanting to go get a snack. 

(16:18):

I'm going to go get a cliff bar. That is my biggest issue. It is always if Chris is asleep, and it's not that I wouldn't eat it in front of him, but I'm just lonely. I'm not even trying to secret eat. I'm just kind of bored. I'm just wishing that he was awake and stuff, and so last night I just sat there and told myself, you're just bored and lonely. We don't need to eat. It is tough. You want to be talking to him and he's asleep. That's all I told myself is like, you don't need to eat. You just miss him. You just wish he was awake. I don't need to be mad at him. I don't need to eat over it. I don't need to do anything. I just need to know. He goes to bed early and I just sat there and thought, what can we do about this? 

(17:08):

One of the suggestions I had for myself is a, we know Chris is now going to bed between six 30 and seven 30 every night. I just need to make sure that when we are awake that I'm not did link. So this is what I noticed last night as I was thinking through all this, rather than eating a cliff bar, this is the insight that I got. Very often he comes upstairs around five to five 30 and I sit on my phone scrolling Facebook, and then I get on Pinterest and then I play. A lot of times I play my New York Times games and I'm just like, we need to do that some other time. You could be doing that while he's sleeping. Don't waste the time y'all have together with stupid distractions that you could do later. 

(18:00):

That insight came from not eating a cliff bar at nine o'clock at night or eight 30, whatever time it was. I would not have gotten that insight. I would not have figured out what was going on if I was sitting there scarfing down a cliff bar, feeling sorry for myself that my husband goes to bed early. Now, I'm not saying that some of you ain't got some marital issues and all kinds of stuff that run much deeper than that. I'm very lucky I don't have super deep marital issues. We have little things like that. Look for the little places in your life that you can make better. Look for the little things in your life where a simple saying no to eating something or just even acknowledging that you want to eat something. That's why I like one overeat y'all. Or when you overeat, it's not the end of the world. 

(18:53):

You don't really gain weight over them until you quit dissecting them. When you start ignoring them acting like they're not happening, being ashamed of them doing everything and anything you can to avoid thinking about them, that's when you're gaining weight. Number three is you're going to pick an excuse that comes up most and you're just going to go to work on it so you can find those patterns to find those excuses, and then I want you to think about, I want you to think about 'em in a lot of ways. Are your excuses really true? That is the first thing. A lot of times our excuses just feel like they're the truth. I need you to ask yourself, is it really true that I can't do this because of that? Or is it that I don't want to do this because of that? Sometimes that is the most important thing you can tell yourself. It's not that I can't do something, it's that I won't do it for this reason. Try that with some of your excuses. So any excuse that sounds like I can't because of, I want you to tell yourself I won't because of try that first. The next thing to do is just to poke holes in your excuses. You might not be able to do all the things, but what could you do? Where could you start? 

(20:22):

Try that next. Okay. I want you to pick one of your excuses this week, and I want you to say, this is the excuse I'm working on this week. This is the one I'm not going to listen to for a solid week, just to see what life would be like. Is it as hard to ignore it as I thought it would be to just do whatever I said I was going to do? Sometimes a lot of times there's an excuse of let's say you trying to stop it enough at dinner and one of your excuses is, well, I'll get hungry later, so I'm just going to eat a little extra right now, and a little bit won't hurt very common excuse. It's at least in the fear this week, just try and see. Do you get hungry later? For a lot of excuses, what ends up happening is we do the thing that we're really afraid of and then we realize like, oh fuck. I was making it way harder than it was. I was making it scarier than it is. I was making it more difficult than it needed to be. I was creating a lot of drama around it that just doesn't need to be there because when I actually tried it, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, so now we don't even have to work on that excuse anymore because we just gave ourselves proof that what we thought wasn't true. 

(21:48):

Okay, y'all have a good one. May y'all.