(00:00):

We are getting rid of excuses, and when I say getting rid of excuses, I don't mean they're going away from your brain. Actually, I'm going to see if I can find this on Instagram. I read something last night and I was like, bam, this is exactly what we mean when we talk about excuses. But I got to look up Mark Manson, who I can't remember the name of the book he wrote, oh, the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is so good. So first of all, I read that book ages ago. If you've not read that book, I highly recommend it. He is very much like me. He's going to be, it's the subtle art of not giving a fuck, but it's really good for people who are like people pleasers and all kinds of different things, and he was talking about discipline and the thing that he said is discipline is conditioning your brain to not give a shit if it's hard or if it sucks or if it hurts, if it needs to get done, it just gets done. 

(01:02):

So that's discipline. But this is the thing I want y'all to hear from this is that you will always have excuses. That is just the way your brain is wired. So we're not ever going to get rid of our excuses. We're going to get rid of the version of us who caves to them, who thinks they're really important, who only listens to them, the part of us that never argues back with them. We're going to get rid of that version and we're going to insert a version of us who is very aware of their excuses. Also is very aware of the consequences of abiding by their excuses, and this is a huge piece. Your brain is very wired to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. So the whole motivational triad, which is how our brain works, we want to avoid pain, seek pleasure. We want to do things as easy as possible. 

(02:02):

So if you want to hack weight loss, some of the key points are, number one is we need easy things to do. That is why I keep everything simple. We're fucking eating when we're hungry and we're stopping at enough. That is the bottom line rule. You do not have to remember which foods are good for you, which foods are bad for you. You don't need to know how many calories or anything. You don't need to know if they fit your macros. You just don't need all of that. All you really need is to check in and be like, am I hungry? If I'm not, then I'm not going to eat. I'm going to figure out what I really need in this moment. Instead, if I'm getting to the point where I've had enough, because the goal is to not get over full to overeat to do those things. 

(02:49):

I'm just now I'm going to be stopping at enough where I know it's plenty of food for my body to feel safe. It's plenty of food for my body to last for three to four hours. It's the idea plenty of food, okay? A lot of you think of stopping at enough is restrictive. Well, I'm not going to get enough. It's like, no, we're stopping at enough. We're not stopping before you get enough. It's very different. So we want to keep things simple so that we use the motivational triad, which is the ease part. That's why I don't complicate things. That's why we make a 24 hour plan. The 24 hour plan is there to make things easier, not to make things harder. Most of you make things harder by not planning your food. That means all day long. You have to navigate the version of you in the moment who makes poor choices. 

(03:37):

I want you to think about that with the 24 hour plan. When we make a 24 hour plan, we're setting ourselves up to be able to eat foods. We love to make sure we have plenty of things planned in case we're really busy that day or things are coming up. We're making sure that we can go out to eat with our family. We're making sure that we know the things that we're going to do in order to lose weight so that we are not left having to make decisions in the moment when we're tired as fuck. Most women are tired as fuck most of the time. The last thing we want is extra work. When you don't make a plan, you have now told the version of you who's tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, doing for everybody else, people pleasing. You've told her like, Hey, I got one more thing for you to do. 

(04:23):

I just love burdening you with extra shit when you feel like shit. That's what you do when you refuse to make a plan because I am not asking you to make a plan that a fucking nun would follow. All I'm asking you to do is fucking write ding dogs on there. If you want to eat a snicker every day for lunch, put the snicker on there. Get over yourself for fuck's sake, as long as you're not overeating, we are going to lose weight. Y'all bottom line, the bottom line. But a lot of y'all want to fuck. You're just fuckery your foot all the time about like, oh my God, I can ran. I don't know about that sneak bar. It's so bad for me. Get your pearls off and throw 'em in the trash. They belong in the trash. If you're wearing pearls and clutching them, they're out of date and if you're wearing pearls for affection statement, you wear them. 

(05:23):

But most of y'all are slapping you pearls on when you're sitting there being a martyr. When you're sitting there acting like this is going to be harder than it has to be when you're just wanting to stuff food in your face. If you want to eat chips, let's learn how to eat chips. Ladies, let's stop acting like chips make us fat. Chips made no woman fat ever. You know what makes us fat eating chips late at night night because we fucking people all day long, we didn't prioritize ourselves. We're wore out and exhausted and we've got some twisted scent that chips are bad and we don't want nobody to see us, so we're eating in the dark. That makes you fat if you really want to know what's going on. So don't kid yourself and don't fool yourself with some bullshit excuses that you can't make a plan. 

(06:15):

The plan is there to heal your relationship with food, to take care of your needs, to make sure you're getting what you need every single day and to untether the burdens and the anchors that you keep putting on yourself every single day to make good decisions about what you want in the moment for your future. You are asking her to work twice as hard. Stop doing it like all of you. So number one, I dunno how this happens, but I always get off on a tangent and then I'm like, what the fuck was I even trying to say? So our excuses are not going to go away. We are going to get better at talking to them. So we got that motivational triad. So the whole planning thing, now I remember what I was talking about, ease. 

(07:09):

We got to put ease in if you think you're going to want to do it, okay? So if you're talking about your plans and you're talking about stopping it enough and you're talking about hunger like a complete asshole, that's where you've got to start. Your brain will fight against sleep, water, hunger and enough and your plan. If it sounds hard, the way you describe it, and I just want all of you to know y'all are just like preach fire. Oh my God, motivational. This is amazing why I don't talk about the basics and we're talking about the same fucking thing. 

(07:54):

If for a moment it makes sense, then you have to agree with me on this one point. The way I'm talking about it is one version of how I could be talking about this. Then here's Corinne with this fucking fresh approach. She's got a whole new set of ideas around this. That means that what you are thinking is optional, just like what I'm thinking is optional. So now we just got to decide. Do we take option A, which makes us feel like ass, makes it feel really hard, drags us down, un motivates us and is not likely to get us to take action? Or do we choose B behind door? Number B is looks like a hundred pounds of weight loss. That bitch lost weight doing that shit. That bitch lost weight thinking that way. That bitch has helped thousands of women do it too. Maybe option B and rewiring how I think about it might be better. Maybe I should try it. When my brain offers up the old shit, I'm like, no, I'm fucking sick and tired of talking about this harder than it has to be. I'm done making weight loss harder on myself than it has to be. 

(09:12):

Give into the idea that the hardest part is negotiating with your brain every day. It is not going to be because you can't eat certain things. All those things that we used to think that made weight loss so hard, we're not even doing here. We've removed all those things. Now we're just left. What's actually hard, which is listening to how we think and changing that every fucking day so we can feel better not just listening to it and going like, yeah, that's the truth. It's very little of what you think is the truth. Now, the second part of the motivational triad is our brains are desperate for pleasure. They will pleasure. They will look for pleasure in all the places and all the wrong places too. So we have to be very aware of what level of pleasure are we giving ourselves because I firmly believe this, a lot of your weight that you're carrying around right now is because you don't get pleasure in life or enough pleasure in life unless you're eating. 

(10:23):

It is the only time that you're feeling rested. It's the only time you relax. It's the only time you let go. It is the only time that you turn off your worries. You turn off your burdens, you turn off your stresses and your worries and shit. It's the only time you do is when you're eating. So it would make sense that if that is the only time that you have relief and it's the only time you have pleasure, that your brain would overly seek food because it wants you to have that. Our job is to notice how much pleasure am I experiencing in my real life and if it ain't damn much, what do I need to do or think or change my mind about or get coached on in order to let go of some of it? Because here's the thing, some of you have got what I call legit burdens, but this is the problem. 

(11:26):

Most of us have a vast majority of legit burdens. So let's take for example that you are caring for either an elderly parent who's got dementia, you're caring for a young child who's on the spectrum or has needs, okay? Now, some of that is just what we call actually hard. It is tough. I you are stretched and you are pulled and we want to admit that, but then a lot of you carry what's called the unnecessary burden around it. I coached someone not too long ago. Her mom has since passed. I won't say her name just in case, but she was caring for her mother who was suffering from dementia and dying and it was a load and she was tired, rightly so, but instead of being compassionate about being tired, she felt guilty for not wanting to go. Even though she was going, she was feeling guilty because she wasn't looking forward to it because I guess she didn't show up like some kind of magical fairy from the Wizard of Oz. 

(12:44):

That's unnecessary suffering. When you have that small child and they're wearing you the fuck out and they are throwing the fits and doing the things and blah, blah, blah. Unnecessary suffering is telling yourself they'll never get better. I shouldn't get so upset about this. I should want to help them. Like no you shouldn't. People in the hurricanes who've lost things, that's legit a hundred percent, but let's say that you've been doing cleanup duty, cleanup duty, doing the things, doing the things, but you're sitting around regretting that you moved there. You're sitting around worrying about what might happen when you've got plenty of things to that you can affect and influence and control. That's where we have to start looking at where am I doing some unnecessary suffering? That's where we can turn some temperatures down. So it's really, really important that we realize our brain is going to seek pleasure and especially when we're in high stressful periods, it's really going to seek pleasure unless you are turning the temperature down on what we call the negotiable pain, the stuff that we are inflicting on ourselves, the unforced errors as we say in the footballs. 

(14:17):

Then the last one is the big one. Our brain will do all it can to avoid pain, and so if you only talk about your weight loss as painful and hard and tough and unfair, and here's all the things I don't get to do. If you only do that, your brain is wired to avoid pain. You have now painted your weight loss picture as a very painful experience. It might as well be quicksand with snakes, thorns, and hot lava all in one, and you're wondering why you're avoiding doing it. Your brain is actually doing exactly what it was designed to do in that moment. Avoid doing painful things. This is why it's so important for you to not sit there and just paint a painful picture of weight loss and not doing this work as painful. Here's all the things I miss out on, just like the 24 hour plan, instead of saying, well, it's so hard to pick what I want to eat because if I write things down, I might not get to eat what I want. 

(15:33):

That's painful. It doesn't sound pleasurable. It for sure doesn't lean into ease, but if you say to yourself, I'm going to make 24 hour plans to make sure that I learn how to eat foods, I love to make sure that I'm never going hungry, that I've always got plenty of food to choose from. I'm also going to make 24 hour plans to make sure the tired version of me never has to make a decision ever again in the moment that she's going to regret. I don't want to put her in that position anymore. I'm going to make 24 hour plans so every day I can wake up and I can know what's working and what's not in my food life. When we start describing it that way, it sounds a lot better, and when you describe staying the way I am, this is all the pain. 

(16:22):

When I don't make those 24 hour plans, I'm left to just go along with the crowd and whatever they want to do, and they don't have my best interest in mind. When I don't make my 24 hour plan, I got to stand in front of the refrigerator every night debating if I'm going to get my shit together or not. When I don't make my 24 hour plan, I got to wake up tomorrow wondering why I can't do this. I got to wake up tomorrow with my pants not fitting right. I got to wake up tomorrow because I suffered heartburn all night long. We need to paint the pain so we have to work with our brains because the only other way that I can help y'all is if I open up a clinic where I'm just like, you know what? They just don't need those brains anymore. Let's just remove them the only way you'd be able to lose weight. So we got to work with our brain because that motivational tribe is not changing. Okay, y'all have a good one. Mayel.