(00:01):

Hi, I am Corinne after a lifetime of obesity being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds each week. I'll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You'll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let's go. Hello everybody. Welcome back. So today I want to share with you a little peek behind the curtain of the no BS weight loss program. When you join No bs, you get these weekly calls and weekly calls with me. 

(00:51):

They are designed to help you get to the root cause issues. They're keeping you from losing your weight, and when we fix those things, you're going to lose weight and you're going to lose it for the last damn time. That is the secret to weight loss fix. What's really going on for you underneath it's driving binging and driving overeating. Solve that. You do not have a problem losing weight and keeping it off. So today you're getting a surprise lesson and it's all about one of the root cause problems that we have. It is called Fuck it eating and fuck it moments. These, fuck it eats are the number one thing that I find women struggle with the most in weight loss. Fuck it eats stall weight loss. They cause you to quit. They have tons of guilt and shame around them and they literally destroy your relationship with the foods you want to eat and lose weight. 

(01:51):

So if you don't know how to stop, fuck it eats you will be doomed to losing and gaining the same weight over and over again. This is why this call is so important for you to listen to and I have a special bonus surprise hidden away in this little podcast. If you've been listening to losing 100 for a long time, I used to have a special cohost named Kathy Hartman. Well, in today's little sneak peek, you get to hear from our old friend Kathy because she makes a special visit. She is a coach inside the No BS weight loss program. She does her own calls. She is someone that we all know and love, and today you get to hear a little old school of Corinne and Kathy going at it one more time for your listening pleasure. So you may also end this call, hear me mention a special two day event. 

(02:49):

Only our members get invited to these things. So if you hear it and you're thinking, damn, I'm dying to meet Corinne in person, or, damn, I would like to speed up my weight loss a little bit and do it with Corinne, then join no BS today so that you can get more information about our two day event happening in September. So here's what you're about to hear. We're going to talk about what to do when you want to overeat or binge around your trigger foods. We're going to stop about why stopping our overeats and vengeance can feel so overwhelming. We're going to talk about how to stop being an asshole to yourself just because you're fuck it eating. I'm going to tell you all about the four reasons that we eat and how one of them is why Fuck it. Eating is so out of control at times, and we're going to talk about how to make losing weight feel like a gift instead of a jail sentence. 

(03:43):

So let's dive in and we're going to talk all about fucking eats so that you can lose your weight for the last damn time. All right, so Kathy, when, and you may have to put your mind back in weight loss mode to answer these questions, but I know that you and I are easy to do that. If I was to say, Kathy, right now, I need you to make a list of every habit, everything you need to change in order to lose 20 pounds, 10 pounds, whatever it is that back in the day you would want to lose, what would be the first feeling that would come up if we were just going to look at the list and see all of it? What is the first thought and feeling you would automatically have? 

(04:25):

Oh, for me it's overwhelm. I have to do all this in order to lose weight. Are you sure I can't do it all? 

(04:33):

Okay, so that's a really good example. So for all of you, I want you to first and foremost think about when we are talking about this, if we start looking at all the behaviors, and if you're not going to look at it in a constructive way, that means your habit brain looks at it and anytime it sees a big list, it goes into like, oh, fuck me, this is a lot. It's too much. I love what you said. I got to change all of this. Just notice how our brain likes to default to black and white to binary. We've made a list for our brain, even Kathy's brain, and I'm sure she would catch herself because she's an expert coach, but I do this, if I look at everything I need to do for the day, my brain automatically assumes I have to do all of it. 

(05:29):

Our brains don't like nuances by habit, so our habit brain is very much designed to be all or nothing. I have to do all of this. Where the truth is, is that you don't usually need to do it all. Are all of those things worthy pursuits probably. But what we want to be thinking about is, okay, here is a list of optional things to work on. I just need to find one that I could start with and possibly make a big difference. Now, when you hear it that way, does your thinking or does your feelings shift? 

(06:11):

Yeah, they do shift a little bit. It feels more doable, but it doesn't feel like it's enough. 

(06:18):

Okay, and that's okay. We don't really, I just want all of you to, it's kind of like we go back to that call that we had a long time ago when a lot of times our brain, when we want to lose weight, it's literally on overdrive with its subconscious belief. So the subconscious belief that drives things like, well, that won't be good enough, has nothing to do with whether or not it's good enough or not. That's always a lie. What the truth behind not good enough is I'm so afraid I won't be able to do it. I'm so afraid I'm just going to fail again. That belief keeps throwing up excuses all the time. So it's like even if we find something that feels more doable, just don't be shocked that your brain goes back to saying things like, but that won't be good enough. It's like, that's all right. Let's just see. Because as your expert in the wild here, here's what I can tell you after working with thousands and thousands of you all through the years is that what you think isn't good enough is almost always not true. 

(07:32):

I won't say never just because I'd want to stay out of black and white, but I would almost bet a lot of money on the fact that it is never really true. So when you have that thought, I just need you to set it aside for a moment and tell yourself, I need to disprove that starting on this isn't good enough instead of, well, it's not good enough. I guess that's just the way it is. It's like I need more of you disproving that by going out and trying these things. Go get some results first. Let's say we're going to attack, fuck it, eating why we're here today and that was all you worked on all summer, and you're just like, it won't be good enough that I only work on my fuck it eating. It's like, all right, well give me a summer of not fuck it eating and then tell me what happened between this date and that date, and then if that wasn't enough, then here's what we'll do. 

(08:41):

Pick the next thing and the next thing or give me a month of no, fuck it. Eating to see what happens. What changes? Does the scale go down? Do you find yourself having an easier time figuring out what's enough and what's not? What happens when you actually try it? And then we get to decide was that enough or not? Because I'll say sometimes you pick a behavior and you clean it up and it might not get you all the way to where you want to be, but you see improvements, which means, all right, if I practice this for a month and I get a little improvement and maybe I want more improvement, I just layer the next thing in versus thinking either I do none of it because I have a long list or I just put myself in a position to try to do too many things poorly with a lot of fear and a lot of overwhelm. 

(09:43):

Like Kathy is like, well, I'm going to go do it even though I'm completely overwhelmed. And then you're trying to do it overwhelmed. You just run out of steam and then the second something, you drop the ball on one thing, guess what happens? You quit all of them. That's usually fuck it. Mentality can be a lot of things. Sometimes it's fuck it eating, I messed up now I'm just going to eat my face off. I eat something I really love. I go into fuck it mode for different reasons, which we are going to cover a little bit later in this call. Or I have a fuck it mentality. I make my list of things that I should do to lose weight. I try all of them and the second I don't do one, I might not go into fuck it eating mode. I just go into fuck it all mode. Fuck it all mode means now I'm just not going to do any of those things. If I screwed this up, I don't want to be doing the rest of it, so now I just don't do anything. So we want to be watching out for fuck it. All right. So 

(10:46):

Yeah, that's called perfectionism. 

(10:50):

Yes, 

(10:51):

And a lot of us, if I can't do it all a hundred percent, I'm not doing anything. It's not the ultimate black and white, right? 

(10:58):

And most of you are at least in the master's degree program, if not seeking your PhD in perfectionist, we want to retire from that college. 

(11:10):

Yeah, but isn't that what old diet trauma taught us though? I mean that's what we're going to be unraveling in the diet culture detox. 

(11:18):

Yes. Times. So that's what we're going to get into in a little bit because I'm going to kind of go through a few things. 

(11:24):

So that's like the first thing I need all of you to think about is, all right, for this summer I want to be, the first and foremost is I need to be thinking about these behaviors which we did in the summer reset, and the one we want to focus on today is fuck it eating. Because here's what I think. If I was to wave the magic scepter and erase just one behavior for all of you for this summer, it would be fuck it mentality. It would either be you would no longer fuck it, eat foods. 

(12:00):

If you went past enough, you ate off plan, which translates into wrong food. If you drop the ball one week and you'd say you were going to do all the basics in one week, it's like, ah, I didn't even make a plan this week and I overate a few times rather than going to fuck it all mode for the rest of the summer. Literally, if I could absolve you of one behavior, it would be that one because it's the one that makes people quit the most often. If you just ate past, I mean, I routinely can eat past enough and still maintain my weight. I routinely ate past enough while I was losing weight. I just ate past enough littler and littler and littler as time went on, but I've never eradicated the behavior, but fuck it, that is one I don't have anymore. Oh my gosh, and I'm going to get my, don't let me forget to get my iPad. 

(13:03):

You remember this because I actually want to show y'all where I'm at in the summer reset. If y'all look at my habit tracker, well, y'all are going to see my habit tracker. You're going to laugh your ass off. It is more Xs than it is. I fill in the hole, I'm like, Ooh, I love a nice, that means I did it and X means I didn't. I was looking at it yesterday and I was like, damn, if my members see this, they're just going to have a royal laugh because I'm just a tracking. I'm just like here. I'm still tracking and it's a hot fucking mess. June did not start off the way I thought it was going to start. So anywho eradicating fucking behavior. So that's the first thing. And then kind of the next thing that I want y'all to think about and I wanted to ask Kathy, is when you're thinking about your fuck it eats, what is your attitude about them? I'm sure you have a very enlightened coach perspective now, but let's just 

(14:03):

Pretend I'm also a human. 

(14:05):

Yeah, let's just bring up the human version of Kathy who's not a well established coach. If you fuck it, eat or do anything like that, what is your default automatic thinking about that 

(14:20):

During the eat or afterwards because they're different? 

(14:24):

I would say afterwards we're going to cover what sets the stage for this more, but let's go with after, 

(14:30):

Okay, after. It's more like it's really self judgey, Corinne. It's more like, see, you're a coach and you can't even stop it enough. You'll never get this blah blah. It's all pity party er. 

(14:49):

Yeah. So the other key aspect about stopping fuck it eating is we have to change our definition of what it means about us and our ability to lose weight. Because if you don't, here's what I promise all of you, you are always going to somehow get into a fuck it mode at some point. It's really hard for us to avoid making mistakes and all this other stuff, and if that is the case, the best thing that you could do for yourself is to develop a new definition of what it means. Most of you are doing like what Kathy said, you're making fuck it, eating very personal. It means these things about me. You're a shitty coach if you can't do this. I'm paraphrasing Kathy, literally did not say that. But saying things like that, saying things like, you're never going to get this. This is always going to slow you down. 

(15:49):

Those kinds of things feel terrible. They do feel eish and the way I look at them, and this takes time, your automatic brain, it is going to go there, but again, it's only going there because there is a deeper rooted belief system driving that conversation and rather than working on the deeper rooted belief system, which can take time if you're only going to do it through thought work, if we're only going to get coached on it over and over again, journal about it over and over again, we're only going to do what we call the thought work piece of it. It will take forever for it to change. Please, everyone hear me when I say this. A lot of you are spending a lot of time trying to shift your belief systems first and most belief systems do not change solely through ahas coaching and thought work. In fact, I would say 98% of belief systems change faster, quicker, and easier when you start with acting in a new way before you believe it so that your brain is now forced to have conflicting ideas about who you are. 

(17:21):

So when you combine and you start, I'm going to tell all of you, if you start with acting in a new way while also using fuck it eats and things like that to change what you believe about yourself, your brain is now forced to do something different inside. It cannot sit around very long and hold two identities for you, especially if they're polarizing. You are either someone who can't lose weight or you are someone who is doing your damn best or you're learning to be someone or you are actively in pursuit of Notice how what I didn't say is you're either someone who can lose weight or you're someone who can't. That's when we get way. I like to bring y'all always to the middle. The middle is where the magic is. And so we're trying to go from this is what we're going to do with the two day. We're going to be talking a lot about all these deeper rooted belief systems that we're all hanging onto. We're going to expose all of them. We're going to figure out what are the deeper rooted belief systems behind stopping at enough waiting for hunger planning. We're going to figure all those things out while also taking some action while we're there. 

(18:43):

And then when you go home, you're going to be doing a lot of action taking, holding two different now completely different belief systems. So I want to get all of you to the middle. It's like, oh, it's not that I can't lose weight or I can, it could be one belief system is I can't. And another belief system is I want to show my brain that I'm actively in pursuit of weight loss, that I am willing to work on it even when it's hard late. I want to believe that I am someone who will work on it even when it feels hard, not I can't lose weight. I want to shift to, I want to prove to my brain that I am someone who gets right back on track as fast as she can. That is a belief system we want to build. And so when you have a better relationship with fuck it, eating, when it goes more like this, fuck it. Eating is illuminating for me. All of the reasons, all the things that I think about food, the emotional holes that I've still got left, it is literally illuminating the path. So I want all of you to imagine something, and Kathy, you can imagine this is we're going on a little journey and here's the woods. The problem is we know there's a path, but it's fucking pitch black at night and we're kind of close to the city, so the mood and the stars are not going to light our way. We're blind. 

(20:20):

If you decide that fucking eating makes weight loss hard, stops you from being able to lose weight, you have to feel your way through the woods. It's scary, it's terrifying. You probably won't do, nobody's going to try. Some of y'all just be like, fuck this. I'm sure Jason lives in those woods. I will not be going If you think about every time I have a fuck it eat or a fuck it moment, this is telling me something. It would be stepping up to the front of the woods and for the next 10 feet in front of you, some little lights come on. You can't see the end, but at least you can see the first few steps. You need to take those steps and then guess what? Another moment arises. Something happens where you eat off plan or you do something and guess what? When you think this is trying to tell me something, so I need to figure out what do I need to be changing? 

(21:21):

It might be environmental, it might be habitual, it might be, it could be emotional, there could be things. Then the next little set of lights lights up and eventually you get to the other side, but you're just walking a little bit. You're letting the fucking eats illuminate your path in front of you. That's what they're there for. They're not there because you are broken and you can't get it. That has nothing to do with it, and that is the story that you will have to overwrite every single time. So it's really important when you're working on fucka eating that a few things. Number one, it doesn't have anything to do with ability. It doesn't have anything to do with you personally. It is a habit. So when we look at the four types of eating, which is what I was writing about this morning, you only eat for four reasons. 

(22:13):

We eat because we're actually hungry. We have a physical need and a physical desire, and your body needs food. It needs fuel. It's going to send up signals in some way. For some of us, our signals are misfiring or it feels like they're misfiring or they're an overdrive because of the diet culture stuff we've been through. That is what the detox is going to do. We are going to really attack why are some of our hunger and enough signals, so off balance to where the only time I get a hunger signal is like I don't eat until I am literally I go from zero to 90 and then once I start eating, I feel like I can't turn it off. We're going to unravel all of that. We also eat for habitual reasons, so you want to be like, a lot of times your fucking eating will show you, I have a habit of when I eat this food, I lose control. 

(23:20):

I have a habit of eating by the clock, and that's kind of like a fuck it, eat. It's like I know I'm not hungry, but fuck it, it's three o'clock and I have learned for thousands of years that we're supposed to eat by the clock. Our third reason is our mindless eating. Our mindless eats are the ones where we're really just on autopilot. It's very similar sometimes to habit eating, but it's more where it's like you don't even know you're doing it. It's not emotionally driven, but it's like cooking and popping something in your mouth, cleaning up the kitchen and just sometimes I'll do this, I'll be doing something in the kitchen and I'll just grab a bite. It's not really emotional, it's not like a habit that I do, but every now and then I'll just pop something in my mouth just to try it and I'm like, oh, it's just mindless. 

(24:21):

Those are always the easiest ones to unwind because we're not emotionally attached to them. We just have to get so good and aware of what we're doing. And then Dottie just said, I eat while I cook all the time. Those are the easiest ones to break because all you have to do Dottie is you just have to get super aware like, oh shit, I'm eating while I'm cooking. I need to remind myself I am learning how to not eat while I cook anymore. And then if you have any resistance to it, then it's starting to land in emotional land and it will be something like, this won't hurt. It's like, well, really, and tell me how that weight loss thing's working out for you. If you're just going to eat extra things when you don't need it, does it make stopping it enough at dinner harder? 

(25:11):

Do you eat less at dinner and then feel cheated? Because if you're going into dinner after snacking all the way through dinner and then you go into dinner and you think like, oh my God, it's unfair that I have to stop it enough because you knocked off 50% of your hunger just simply cooking. I don't know, does that matter? Does it matter to you? Because if you can easily stop it enough, guess what? I guess it doesn't, but if it's setting you up to have all this drama on the back end, we're screwed, so we want to make sure we're working on it. The fourth one is our emotional eating, and that is where it is. I am eating simply because I have an unmet need and a lot of fuck eating comes down. I think fuck eating comes down to two things. Number one, it is an unmet need somewhere usually compassion. So we're going to use Kathy as our example, who is an ER when she fucking eats. 

(26:10):

If her brain is going to be an ER about it, then she is definitely having an unmet need of compassion when it comes to weight loss and eating, and I think a lot of you think your unmet needs are only living in the land of like, I don't have enough help. I don't get enough sleep. I'm overworked, I'm burned out. Those are all actually unmet needs. I don't have enough self-care. I'm not getting enough rest. I feel guilty. Fuck when I take time for myself and I feel like my little children are somehow being neglected as a mom, whatever our stories are, but sometimes the biggest unmet need that we all have is compassion for the moment. Things are not going the way we think they should in our life, and when that unmet need is there, we see a big tick up in fuck it all. Let me just quit. 

(27:12):

And that is because if you are going to be trying to lose weight and we know it's going to put you in a position to very often make mistakes, have things not go the way you think they were, I mean it is just literally just going to be a lot of being very aware of all the things that keep you from sticking to your plan and doing these things. If you don't have compassion, then what you do have is a lot of action with a lot of beatdowns and when I don't care how bad you want to lose weight, you might cry yourself to sleep every night wanting to lose weight so bad, but if your mistakes equal beatdowns routinely, you will quit trying to just feel sad about. A lot of us live in the land of frustrated that I can't lose weight live in the land of wanting to lose weight. 

(28:14):

It feels miserable, but it's not as miserable as those beatdowns. Your brain knows which one is the worst, and it will say, I will settle for a life of you not liking who you are. I will settle for all of this because I don't like it when you do this. This feels traumatic. This feels really bad, and so I'll choose this hard versus this hard, and that's why I think a lot of you need to meet the emotional need of compassion before you meet anything else. But when you blend compassion with those bucket eats, then you can really solve things. I just want you to think about all the information. Fuck it eats, give you about foods you love about stopping at enough, all these things. It gives you so much information, and then compassion also just feels a whole fuck ton better, so much easier to lose weight with compassion, and you actually get there. Okay, 

(29:20):

Let's just talk 

(29:21):

Because then I'm going to jump over to my other notes. I worked really hard on that this morning. 

(29:27):

While you're doing that, I just want to point out a beat down isn't necessarily you going, oh my God, you're such a loser. You'll never get this. It doesn't have to be that voice. It can be that little voice in the back of your head that says, see, maybe this isn't for you. Maybe you don't get this. It doesn't have to be this overt screaming. Think about a beat down that would come out of Corinne's voice versus a beat down that would come out of my voice totally diametrically opposed, right? I bet your beatdowns Corinne don't sound like it's okay. You'll get it next time, right? Mine do. The mine are, 

(30:06):

Yeah, most of mine are harsher, but I'll say sometimes I do. I mean, this is a great point you're bringing up. Sometimes I'm in the land of, I would call it a manipulative down. It's like your brain's manipulation tactic. It's like, well, I'm not going to yell at her, but if I really want her to just quit, let me just say these things instead. And it's so funny because tell me the Kathy Hartman version of a beat down. 

(30:39):

So my version is more like, it's okay, you're not smart enough. You're getting older. Just have some more. It's almost like a you're getting older. Yes, yes, girl. I'm hearing that a lot lately for some reason, but that's more mine. It's more like a justified, you won't get this, and here's why tell. That's the false compassion that comes in. 

(31:08):

Yes. Tell me why that would be manipulative or tell me why that's actually a beat down, 

(31:14):

Because 

(31:15):

I dunno why, reasons why. I want to know your reasons why. I'm just curious as a fellow coach, why you feel that way? 

(31:21):

I think only because it prevents me. It puts that wall up between what I believe about myself and what I want to believe. I think it's more it holds me back. So it might not be theoretically that perfect definition of a beat down, but it's the way I talk to myself that keeps me from moving forward. 

(31:44):

Well, and this is what I find so interesting. I think it's a great definition of a version of beat downs because it's like saying, it's basically your brain is saying in a nice way. If you're just not good enough, why bother? Exactly. I think sometimes we think beatdowns and a lot of times, I think it also depends on your parenting. For me, when I was growing up, we knew when a beatdown was coming because in my family there were switches, glass waters and yelling. No one was just subtly or passive. No one in my family was ever passive. Aggressive, aggressive, aggressive was the way it was. Now I grew up, I'm going on 50 years old, so back in the day, my grandmother, the one in Alabama, oh lord, if the red fly sweater came off the top of the refrigerator, we knew shit had done gone down. Everyone's scattered real quick. So this is what I want all of you to think about. The definition of a beat down, and I'm really glad you said this, Kathy, is not the tone of your voice. The definition of a beat down is, is it holding you back from who you could be? 

(33:01):

Our brains are just stealthy and wise, and a lot of times they mirror what we heard. So in some families, let's say you had a family where they just didn't think you were good enough and they weren't yellers and stuff, but they always were saying, it's all right. You weren't the smart one. Anyway, 

(33:24):

That right there is why that voice may be that way for you. So just be thinking about for all of you, just be compassion to me always sounds like it might start with, it's okay, but I know you want to solve this. It's the compassionate conversation. For me, if mine is more like, because I'll say you and I share one that's very similar. A lot of times I don't have beat downs on the food side that mine are always shriller on that side, but when it comes to business, a lot of my beatdowns are very nice sounding. It's like, it's all right. I mean, you're not that good in math. Well, it's a good thing that you've got Chris because he's a lot smarter than you. It'll just sound so reasonable, 

(34:19):

But I want all of you to think about the tone behind it. It's literally just trying to get you to play small. It's literally just trying to say, why don't I just think it's okay? You could go learn this stuff. It's okay. You could ask Chris what he knows and next time you're going to be able to do it. I just want you to think about when we are talking about fuck it foods and stuff, and we're talking about our fuck it moments and our beatdowns and everything, that compassion is really one of the key missing ingredients I think when it comes all the way to weight balls. Okay, anything else you want to add in before I go into the notes? 

(35:01):

No. I am glad you liked the different voices of a beat down because they can feel seriously. It can feel compassionate. It can feel like the words are right, but if you check in with your body and you still feel like, no, that doesn't really feel good. You're going to know. You're going to know if your words are landing in a positive way that kind of propels you forward, lights up that path. I love that analogy. By the way. Lights up that path or if that path just doesn't light up, even though you think you're talking to yourself in a nice 

(35:33):

Way, I don't want you to think that you're going to mess up and just feel like automatically great. That's not what we're really looking for. I guess all of you, I just want you to identify, we think about this, number one, what is compassion to you? And then number two, what is compassion going to sound like for you? And then three, if you're acting from true compassion, you would do what next? Because that really is the key when it comes to understanding. I think it's easy for all of us who yell at ourselves. Here's the nice thing about internal yellers. We know when we're not being compassionate. There's no mistaken. It's like, that sounds like a jerk. I don't have to question this. Probably not useful, that kind of thing. But when it's stealthy, it could be confusing. And here's how you know when to clear up any confusion. If I speak to myself like this, do I learn anything and then do anything different next time? If I speak to myself like this and I don't really learn anything, I just kind of keep starting over clean slating. I'm really just trying to do the same thing that I just did over and over again every day hoping I guess it's going to unlock. That's when you might be in the land of compassion. I like what Mary just said, I'm not in compassion. I'm in permissiveness. 

(37:18):

I'm like, it's okay to not try anything new. It's okay to stay stuck here. It's okay to put this on Groundhog Day. Be thinking about it kind of maybe that way. 

(37:30):

All right, 

(37:31):

So now let's do this because I really want to talk about fuck it foods a little bit more, and this is just some of the raw notes that I was thinking about this morning. Number one is if you want to get control over your fuck eggs, you can feel free since you're already up here and Karen is doing a fabulous job, you can just, 

(37:48):

She is doing a great job. 

(37:49):

You can just keep on commenting if you want to. Okay, 

(37:52):

Maybe we'll do this every now and then. Just always dress up on my calls, Kathy, and I'll just pull you out. Kathy is actually unlike Corinne, I'll bet you whether Kathy's on camera or not, she takes a shower in the morning and gets ready for her workday, not me. If I'm not going to be on camera, I'm like, it's a no. I'm like, I could go two days without a shower. Sometimes I do, and Chris is like, wow, is water going to melt you or something? So first and foremost is we want to normalize our relationship to the fuck it foods. So for a lot of you, fuck it, eating comes with certain foods, or we think that we only fucking eat around certain foods. Now we all know that that can come in a lot of different ways, but I kind of want to focus on a specific food that you keep blaming for your fuck it eats. 

(38:47):

So we have to really decide that all foods are truly okay because if you are eating any particular food out of control, it means you. This is the big flashing sign I'm holding onto the idea that this food is either bad off limits or something wrong with it, but the only way to ever get out of that behavior is at some point we have to normalize it, and this is the thought that I came up with for all of you this morning that will prove to you that all foods are truly okay. Now, I'm not saying that some foods are more healthy than others and stuff, but we have to realize that our weight issues are not due to a specific food, otherwise, no one in the world could eat it. Really want y'all to think about that. If you are particular flavor of, fuck it food, Kathy, what would be yours if you had one? 

(39:55):

Cookies, 

(39:57):

Cookies, 

(39:58):

Cookies. 

(39:58):

If it was true that Kathy just couldn't eat cookies because they're bad and they make you gain weight and stuff, then Corinne couldn't eat cookies either. No one could. That really means that, oh, it's not that cookies are bad or that I can't control myself. It really just means that cookies are fine. I haven't learned how to normalize them yet. Something in me still finds them off limits. There must be something going on beneath the surface that lights my brain up in such a way that when I eat it, I want to keep eating it. So here's the thought for all of you that if you still think some foods are bad, those foods ain't got a soul and they can't go to jail, bad people go to hell and bad people go to jail. I just want you to think about it. There's no jail for foods because we don't go to the grocery room, be like, oh my God, that food is misbehaving so much. Send it to Kroger's. Jail food does not have a soul. There's no moral that's there. So whether or not you believe in God or not, you can pick either there's no jail for food or there's no hell for food either. That's how we know food can't be bad or good. 

(41:33):

They can be like, these foods have more fiber. These foods have more protein. These foods have more sugar. These foods, when I eat them every day, I don't feel my physical best. These foods, when I eat them every day, I feel physically better. That doesn't mean they're good or bad. It just means, oh, I notice my human body has a different reaction to these foods, these foods, if I'm overeating them routinely, that's not because of the food. I want to figure out what's going on beneath the surface around these foods. If I solve that, then I could have them sometimes and be just fine, and I could take it or leave it with them, and that's where I really want to get with all foods. I want you to get to where you can take it or leave it. Not that like, oh, now I can just eat ice cream every day and not lose control. It's like, no, I want you to be like, I could just take or leave ice cream. Sometimes I really love it and sometimes I'm just like, it's not even worth it today. I don't really care about it that much today. That's food freedom. Food freedom is having a take it or leave it attitude, not a, oh my God, I can have this every day. Now, that's not freedom. 

(42:49):

Yeah, food freedom is also, there's ice cream in the fridge, but I think I'm going to pass today. You can want it and say, no, that's also food freedom. So that's another little nuance for that. I have ice cream in my fridge, in my freezer right now. Ken's like, do you want ice cream? I'm like, I don't think so tonight. 

(43:08):

Yeah, Jane was actually, Marco polo me the other day and she said, girl, first of all, we had been making fun of Chris. Well, he actually knows we've been making fun of him, but he eats a peanut butter sandwich every day for lunch. He's off the key that he ate for two straight years. Now he's on a peanut butter sandwich, which I'm sure for two years from now, we're going to do it, but I'm going to have to post this picture in the Facebook group. When Chris makes peanut butter sandwich, it is peanut butter with a hint of bread. That's 

(43:39):

How I make em. I'm just going to be honest. I love me some peanut butter. 

(43:42):

I promise you, when I show you this picture of his sandwich, Kathy, you're going to be like, oh my God. I mean, it is spilling out like a whopper with cheese. I mean, it's a lot. Can he move his mouth after he eats it? What Jane said, does he at least drink a glass of milk? I mean, in her mind, she was like, how is he not choking on this? And I was like, no. I mean, so now almost every other day, I take a picture of his sandwich. I'm like, here's today's peanut butter sandwich update, because I noticed we were going through a jar of peanut butter about every three days. Seriously. And so if all of you don't know, back in the day when I was competing in bodybuilding, peanut butter was my fuck it food, and I didn't think I could have it in that we'd get a jar. 

(44:30):

It was always on my menu. I could have two whole tablespoons twice a week, and I mean every single week on one of those, usually the second day I would eat a half a jar or more because next thing, it was like we were so overworked out and so underfed that my body was, the moment it started tasting peanut butter, it knew like, oh God, eat all you can because she's fucking starving and exercising all the time right now because in order to compete in bodybuilding, you have to get really underweight. And so it was hard, and she was like, remember when Chris used to have eight or 10 jars of three quarters of the way eating peanut butter things in his trunk? Because I would eat until I was sick. He'd come home at night and I'd be like, take it away. I just can't have peanut butter in the house. 

(45:24):

And he'd lock it in the trunk, and then every time that I would end my competing season, he would bring in 10 to 12 jars of peanut butter that had been started and stopped. And she's like, oh my God, you barely even eat peanut butter. She was like comparing your toast to his, it's like, you just take a smear, put it on there. And I was like, I know I don't have drama over it anymore because I normalized my relationship with peanut butter. I realized that peanut butter wasn't the problem. The problem was I was starved and my body needed nutrients. 

(45:56):

This 

(45:56):

Was not a Karen problem. This was not a peanut butter problem. This was when I was doing that. When I look back, I was like, I was having a trauma response. My body knew to ask for a load of food because of that. Now, for a lot of you, we want to acknowledge that in us that we've had maybe past diet trauma responses. That will be a lot of what we talk about at the two day, but it will be, I've got all these trauma responses that are coming back from the past, and that even though right now I am not dieting the same way my brain thinks I am, it's bringing back the old memories as a way to just guard against going back there, all of that restriction. So the first thing is that food ain't got a soul, and food doesn't have a special jail built for it for all the naughty foods. 

(46:53):

So if that's the case, we know that all foods are just food, but maybe some of them, we have responses that make it harder for us to stop, and we want to figure out why that is, because if we plug that hole and we heal that piece, then we don't have to worry about that food anymore. The second thing is we got to normalize pleasure around food. So one of the things that happens is when you have been dieting for a long time in the past is your brain builds a belief system that the only way to lose weight is it's got to feel really hard. It needs to feel punishing. I shouldn't have pleasure. And so when you come into no BS and I'm trying to get you to normalize foods and to include more of them on your plan, your brain now has, it goes to war. 

(47:55):

It's like, wait a minute. Dieting means I shouldn't be pleasured when I'm eating, but here I am pleasured. And so they're going to war with each other. So what we have to remind ourselves is that I am supposed to have pleasure with food. It shouldn't be an all or nothing experience, and the more that I get pleasure from food, the easier my weight loss actually becomes. Because fuck it, eating is usually a result of a lack of pleasure in life on top of a lack of pleasure with food. And so when you combine those things, it's like a big terrible storm. And when you don't have enough pleasure in life and you're not getting enough pleasure in food, the moment you eat something you really like, your brain goes on fire. It's like, oh my God, I feel good. I don't want to let this go. 

(48:47):

She rarely gets to feel good. She never gets to enjoy her food. We should go all in right now. Who knows when this moment's coming again. So what we really want to do is we want to be thinking about how do we normalize pleasure? One of the things that we have to do is remind ourself over and over again that losing weight isn't and shouldn't be punishing. Are you ready to lose weight? The no BS way? If so, good news, we are open, which means you can join us at any time for just $59 a month. If you're ready to work with me to lose weight, the no BS way, come on over to join nobs.com. Check out everything that we offer. We would love to help you lose your weight for the last damn time.