Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Welcome to Real World Peaceful Parenting, a podcast for parents that aretired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. Join mom and mastercertified parent coach Lisa Smith as she gives you actionable step-by-stepstrategies that’ll help you transform your household from chaos tocooperation. Let’s dive in.

Lisa: Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to today’s episode. Today, Iknow I say this every week how excited I am to be with you all, but let metell you all something. Today is a triple special day. Today I’m joined by avery important person in my life, Corinne Crabtree. Corinne is a fellowcoach, a colleague, a mentor, a sister, and a very important person to me.She is someone that helped me love my body. I asked her to join me today.First of all, let me say welcome Corinne.

Corinne: Well, thank you. I want to say you’re special to me too. We’veknown each other for a long time now. I highly regard you. Like I talk aboutyou a lot. Whenever somebody asked me about parenting stuff, I’m like youshould listen to my friend Lisa’s podcast.

Lisa: Well, thank you. Thank you. Yes, I feel like Corinne is someone whohas helped millions of women around the world love their bodies and loseweight in a way that feels delicious and incredible. Corinne has a fewbusinesses, but really, today we’re going to talk about weight and lovingyour body. This comes up a lot with my clients, Corinne, where we talkabout body image.Parents will be worried about their kid’s bodies and/or what their kids areeating. Either because they perceive their child’s body as too thin or toobig. One of the things that I know in the world is that kids don’t do what wesay, they do what we do, right?

Corinne: For sure, for sure.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Lisa: So one of the reasons I wanted to have you on today is because Iwanted to have a juicy, robust conversation and beg parents to considerneutralizing all conversation about the body. The parent’s body, the kid’sbody, other people’s bodies.As I was preparing for today’s podcast, I had this epiphany this weekend. Irealized that the real problem around the body when we’re parentingchildren or influencing them as coaches and mentors is if we havejudgment about the physicality, and I want to get your take on this, aboutthe physicality of someone’s body. If we’re judging it, if we’re judging itbecause it’s too big, or it’s not little enough, or it’s not right, or it’s out ofproportion, we train our children to think about bodies that way.

Corinne: Yeah, no, for real. It’s not even so much like them thinking aboutlike if we kind of pass on this idea that there are bad bodies or bodies thatdon’t work right or whatever then kids are going to internalize that as likeoh, that’s dangerous. So now I need to make sure that that never happensto me.When kids, especially when they’re little, and they’re not able to reallyrationalize and think through things, they get very easily misconceivedways of like controlling that. I coach a lot of women that their eatingdisorders, their weight issues, all the things that they experience and sufferwith in their 50s and 60s, we go back, and we kind of look at like where didall this begin.They will almost always have a memory of their mother saying somethingabout her own body, a father commenting about what a girl should looklike. This body is more attractive than this body. They almost always willhave these memories, these inflection points where they took something in,and from that moment on it left a wound in them that they’re desperately

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

trying to either heal, avoid, or do lots of antics in their older life to overcomeand to stay away from.

Lisa: It’s so incredibly dangerous. It makes me so passionate to talk aboutthis because that was my story. I was born into a large body. I grew up alarge kid, and grew up in a household where I got the message, whether itwas intentional or unintentional. Pretty sure it was intentional, but I’ll givepeople the benefit of the doubt.

Corinne: We’ll give them some grace.

Lisa: There we go. Yes. But I grew up believing that I would be loved moreif my body were smaller.

Corinne: Oh yeah. I think that like my mother, she had weight issues too. Ihad weight issues from the age of nine. Like when I was preparing for thispodcast, I was thinking about like one of my own experience. One of mybiggest memories that I have is I was probably around 10 years old, justthinking about which house I lived in and all kinds of things. Mygrandmother at the time, my mom was really poor. She was a singlemother. She was very young too. She had me at 17. So she was probablya whopping maturity of 27 at this point.I’m eating dinner. We lived with my grandparents because we couldn’tafford our own apartment. I wanted a second helping of mashed potatoes.My mother had just woke up. It was 7:00 at night. She worked graveyard.So she’s moody and ill and 27. She’s already struggling with her weight,and couldn’t find a man basically. So like all of this is probably going on herhead.I remember her looking at me and getting so angry, and screaming at mygrandmother, “If you don’t quit feeding her, she will never find a man.” As a

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

child, I hear that, and I’m like oh my God. Then I feel so much shame forwanting to eat mashed potatoes, a second serving. I’m like suddenly superaware of my body. Now, I’d already been aware of my body before that. Butas an adult, like I’m 49 years old. I can see that moment clearly.Now, as an adult, what I’ve done is I’ve gone back, and I really have lookedat through the lens of that story. There’s no way my mother was sittingthere like rubbing her hands together, trying to figure out a way to warp mefor the rest of my life. She was just terrified that I would probably end upjust like her. She was blaming a lot of it on her body and her weightbecause my daddy, who she married, made fun of people who wereoverweight.Like women, especially, it is just in the water we swim around in. It is in theair that we breathe that our body has to look a certain way in order to beloved, in order to be safe, in order to make enough money to support yourfamily, to be worthy enough to go places. Wear certain clothes.Lisa: To have friends. To be invited to birthday parties, to be included in thein-crowd.

Corinne: Oh, yeah.

Lisa: I agree with you. I think parents really are trying to protect theirchildren. They mean well. The problem is that it’s rooted in diet culture,internal bias, fat phobia, projection, and, listen to this, the pursuit of thinprivilege.

Corinne: Oh, yeah.

Lisa: Right? I mean, and it’s what I’ve come to realize, much like you. Imean I understand these people that raised me loved me. They really

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

thought they were helping me. The problem is, and I want every parent tohear this, hating the way you look is a learned behavior.

Corinne: Oh, yeah.

Lisa: Right? It’s learned. Again, kids don’t do what we say. So if you’re aparent right now, and you’re listening to this, and you hate your body. Yousay well, I hate my body, but I’m going to teach my daughter to love herbody. I’ve got bad news for you. It does not work like that. Right Corinne?

Corinne: It doesn’t work that way. Because like this is what I try to tell myclients all the time. I know you teach this, but kids don’t really listen to whatthey hear they. They do listen to some extent, but the majority of them,children, they’re observational. They’re watching the world, and they’repicking up cues on.It’s almost like we’re hypersensitive as children to body cues, to facialexpressions and stuff. Because if you think about even like as a baby,babies don’t know how to communicate other than crying. So they rely onwatching what’s going on all the time to figure out what my next best stepsare. If I’m going to walk, I’m going to watch these humans. Well, they allseem to be on two legs. Maybe I should be doing that.So it’s not far-fetched to think that your 10 year old and your 15 year old iswatching you squirm around uncomfortably in your clothes, or sighing whenyou look in the mirror, or avoiding mirrors. They know when it’s like, “Well,Mama seems to be in such a good mood at home, but the second we goout in public she’s moody, she’s quiet, she’s withdrawn.” Kids know that younever want to be in pictures. Like we have to think about these things.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

So it’s one thing to tell your daughter you’re beautiful, and you’re all thesethings. But if you’re sitting around, and you are not expressing that yourbody is like at least okay, they pick up on it.

Lisa: Totally.

Corinne: You’re leaving it up to their mind to create the story around whyyou’re so upset. So often it’s like even if they’re not picking up on some cuethat, “Oh, it must be that Mama’s body is not okay.” When you’re in yourhead about your body, they may be picking up some cue that maybe I’mnot okay. Maybe I’m doing something. It’s our head drama.Lisa: Yes. Let’s take that a step further. Let’s say that a girl figures out thather mother doesn’t like her body. People say to the young girl oh, you lookjust like your mama. The young girl then, studies show this, she projectsthen, “Well if my mother doesn’t like her body, one day, my body’s gonnalook like that. I’m doomed. I have 50% of her genetics. I’m doomed to looklike that.”So they either start sabotaging. This is the message that I’m desperate forevery parent to hear. Children not liking their bodies, whether their bodiesare big or little, is not innate. It’s not inherited. It is a learned behavior.

Corinne: It really is. I mean the best way to know it is to look at a two orthree year old. Like my niece. She was the chubbiest baby that was everborn. She had dimples where dimples barely exist. Yes, I remember. Oh,my gosh, she was a blowout diaper kid. My brother saying just getting it outof the rolls is like an impossible task these days.She just thought she would wear her princess clothes, and she had herprincess shoes at the age of two and three. If it was really, like if body

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

shame was just something we’re born with or whatever, then we would feelit from a young age. We are taught to feel shame about our bodies.At some point as women, we have to just decide like when’s thegenerational curses going to end? Like which generation do we end it? I tellour clients, and you hear me say this all the time. At some point, we haveto just take responsibility to change the future generations. We may stillhave to suffer some, and we have to like really work hard at it and stuff. ButI hope that every time I work on any crappy thought that I have aboutmyself and every little thing that I think about my body or anybody else’sbody. The work that I’m doing that’s so super uncomfortable. That ageneration or two from now, that just won’t be a thing. That would beamazing.Lisa: Oh, I hope I live to see it.

Corinne: Oh my too.

Lisa: Let’s talk about this. Having said everything we’ve said, I think you’llagree with me, and I really want to get your take on this. If the listenertakes nothing away from today’s podcast, please take this away. All youhave to do to be part of that change that Corinne just beautifully illustratedfor us. All you have to do is just stop verbalizing judgment of bodies. I meanit’s that simple.

Corinne: Yeah, like for everyone. I think that in order to stop, I think the firststep has to be you just have to listen to yourself. Like it is a little painful tostart listening to the way that you think about you, the way you think aboutother bodies, the way that you express things and what you say.But before you change and stop, get a really good grasp of what’s going oninside your head that comes out of your mouth, and start listening for it.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Then don’t, this is the other, I think, key piece Lisa. Is women when theyusually turn the volume up of what they’re thinking about their body andstuff, it creates so much shame.It’s like it’s bad enough that we have terrible thoughts about ourselves. Wemay even be saying some stuff unconsciously and it feels like without ourpermission at times. But then we layer a layer of thinking on top of. It’s likeoh my god, I hear all this. I must be broken. I’m a bad person. Something’swrong with me.This is what I want to tell every one of your listeners. There’s nothing wrongwith you. If you look at, just go to Kroger or wherever you, like what do y’allgot? Ralph’s out there?

Lisa: Fry’s.

Corinne: Fry’s, right. Publix. Just surf the magazine aisle for a hot second.You will see how glamorized weight loss is, and I’m in the weight lossbusiness. But I really want to help women change their relationships withthemselves and food in order to be able to have a longer, healthier life.But I want you to just look at it. I want you to watch TV, and I want you tojust scroll your social. It is everywhere you look. So there is nothing wrongwith you because you have all of these thoughts and stuff. What we want todo is not shame ourselves for what we think and believe and not judgeourselves for it. We want to say like I’m so glad I know this now because Iwould like to change it for my own sake, and for the sake of generations ofwomen and young girls to come.Lisa: I think that’s fantastic. I agree with you. This is one of the things Ilearned from you is step one was to not shame my old way of thinking andto really understand where it came from. I was indoctrinated into this body

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

judgment. Learning that that’s what I was doing. It was hard to admitbecause I didn’t think I was doing it, but I was.

Corinne: Oh, yeah.

Lisa: Then I had to let go of the shame. Then I had to really separate worthfrom presentation. Right? Thin people are not worth more. Thinner bodiesare not worth more than bigger bodies. Just really sitting down and workingthrough all of this inside one’s head so that you can model this for yourchildren can be really one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

Corinne: For sure. Because so much of like our body is genetic. My doctor,he does such a good job of saying this. I just went and got my physicalabout a week ago. He gives me the speech every year because he likes toask me like do you smoke, do you drink. He’s like taking the intake andeverything.He says, “I’m so proud of you. Because the hardest part of my job is whensomebody walks in, and we have a lot of lifestyle things that we have towork on.” He’s always says, “You are doing all the things you need that youare in your control.” He’s like there is a lot of your health, and I believe thisis the same about our body. There’s a lot of things about our health and ourbody that we can control. Then there’s the genetic side.He’s like we’re not going to hate on the genetic side, but we’re going tomonitor. Your lifestyle stuff could influence it, but we’re also not going tohate on the part that we just can’t escape. I think the same thing goes withthe body. I remember my mom, I’m really not trying to throw my motherunder the bus here.Lisa: I know you love your mom.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Corinne: I adore my mother like to no end, but like she grew up in the 70sand 80s. Then she’s trying to parent a young girl who had weight issues inthe 80s when that was not a good thing at all. I remember her one daysaying to me you’ll just always have big legs. We all got big legs on bothsides of the family. She talked about my Aunt Becky, then she talked abouther, and all these other things.That’s stuck with me my entire life. You know me. The one area that I workon the most when it comes to my body is I’m always super sensitive aboutmy dang legs. So I’ve been really working on like I just have to give up thedream that my legs will ever look different. I’ve done everything within mycontrol. I have lost weight. I lotion the toot out of them. I drink all the water.

Lisa: You tried the fat blaster.

Corinne: I do everything. Like I’ve done everything that’s in my control, likemy doctor said. At some point, genetics just play a part. We’re not going tohate on genetics at this point. I just decided I didn’t want to spend the restof my life. I didn’t want, at the end of the day, my tombstone read, she hada great life but always hated her legs. That was pretty much the story. I justkept writing every day.

Lisa: Yeah, well it’s funny Corinne because I’m sure when people look atyou, you’re so beautiful and so well put together. No one’s looking at yourlegs but you. I mean first of all, I think you have fabulous legs. But we dotend to focus on one area. I’m that way with my stomach. I love my body.My size is amazing. I’ve lost weight. But my stomach is not flat. I feel thesame way about my stomach as you feel about your legs. But life’s tooshort to worry about my stomach. I’ve got so many other great things goingon in my life.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Corinne: Yeah, and that is such a great point that you make. Because oneof the things that I do try to talk about when it comes to body image is we’renot asking women to just love everything about themselves. For most of us,because of the way society is and stuff, that is such a big ask. When wemake a big ask and we can’t get there, we tend to just go back to just self loathing, and it’s bad, and how we’ve always thought.What I’ve been really trying to tell people is one of the most compassionatethings we can do for ourselves is admit there are parts of me I don’t like,but they’re not the whole story. What I see most often that happens in bodyimage stuff is the parts of you, you don’t like about your body, whether thatjust is your weight. For me, it’s loose skin and scars from years of beingoverweight, whatever that is. It becomes the whole story. It becomes theonly part of the story we ever tell. We never give ourselves this opportunityto see the bigger picture of life.So I always like to tell myself it is a okay if you don’t like this, but we’re notgoing to spend our entire life focused on it. It’s not going to define the dayanymore. It’s not going to be the only part of your body image anymore.There are other things.I trained myself. This part is just my legs. I have really gotten to anacceptance point where it’s like these are just my legs. I never sit and thinklike they are wonderful when they have got scars ripping up and downthem, lumpy parts, and all this other stuff. Still after years of work, it is a bigleap. But it feels so refreshing to be able to say like those are my legs, andthey’re looking good today. Thinking about the totality of my life, the otherareas. Like I’m blessed with great hair. I tell my son all the time. You’re solucky you got your hair from me.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Lisa: And beautiful eyes and a nice voice and amazing arms. I mean you’retall. You have nice shoulders. I mean, there’s so many things we could talkabout other than your legs. Your legs are just boring, right?

Corinne: That’s what we want to do is we kind of just want to make thoseareas of our body that, like I just encourage people all the time like if you’reso fixated on it. The first step isn’t to go straight to love. The first step is tolearn how to turn down the amount of thinking you’re doing about it. Turnup thinking on other things in your life.For some women, because I work with people who were like me who have100 pounds or more to lose. I work with people of all sizes, but when youhave a lot of weight to lose, it’s very common to be like there is not one partof my body I like. I work with so many women who will legit tell me I can’tfind a part of my body that I like at all.I’m like okay. Is there a part of you or is there a part of your life that you dolike that you can at least find some like respite, some peace, and somecomfort in so that we can start neutralizing? This is my body. I’ve beentaught lots of things about it. It’s probably gonna take me a while to unlearnit, but I’m working on that part.That in itself feels so much better than just like this is my body that I hate.I’m probably never going to change. This sucks. Wah, wah, wah. It’s likelooking for cracks that we can put into the story of not liking ourselves.When we can find a crack, that means a little light can come through. Alittle light can feel very cleansing.

Lisa: Totally. As you’re listening to Corinne talk about this, listen from thelens of if I have a child, a daughter or son, a he, she, or they, and they don’tlike something about their body. Please don’t say to them oh, stop it right

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

now. Your eyebrows are fine. Or don’t worry about your legs, or they lookfine to me.Let them not like a part of their body. Yeah, I get that I get you don’t likeyour eyebrows, or I get that you don’t like your hair. Maybe someone hassuper curly hair, and they wish they had straight hair. Acknowledge that forthem. Because listen to me. As a parent, to your child that feels likeconnection. Remember, I say every week connection is when the otherperson feels, key word, seen, heard, and valued. So if I say gosh Mom, Ihate my hair. Don’t tell me not to hate my hair. Acknowledge it, then maybehelp me find four or five other parts of my body that I do like.

Corinne: That is so important. Because it’s, not just with children, but evenwith yourself. Trying to just slap a happy thought or a good thing on top ofsomething you inherently believe is not good feels so dismissive. I thinkthat’s really important with our children.When I think about my clients, what they almost always tell me about whenthey were children where some of the biggest wounds were created. Itwasn’t even intentional. I always think like the vast majority of parents arevery well intended. They just sound like crap when it’s coming out. Is theyalways felt never heard.Like I would try to tell my mom these things, or I would try to say thesethings, or I would express my fears and stuff. They’re just like oh, it’s not abig deal. Or oh no, you’re beautiful or whatever. Like in their head, they’renot hearing your words of affirmation. They’re hearing you’re not listening.Listening goes a long way for children.Lisa: It’s really what a parent can do Corinne.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Corinne: Yes, it helps prevent some of those fundamental just, like I would.My mom probably won’t listen to this podcast. You know my mother. Shebarely listens to my own. So I’ll just say it. But like if I could have wishedone thing like in those moments when I was telling her about how bullied Iwas and how terrible I felt about my body.Like I remember her one time saying yeah, but one day you’ll be beautiful.One day, you’ll lose the weight. I know she meant well. But in the moment,I was just like but that doesn’t help me now. Then I was getting them, like Ithink for moms, please if your daughter is complaining about her weight, donot say well, one day, you will lose the weight as if she’s got to lose theweight in order to feel valued and worthy. Because that’s the message thatends up getting sent.

Lisa: Yes.Corinne: I know our moms want to help our children. If they legit haveweight issues, like my son is 20 going on 21. I wouldn’t say he has a weightissue, but he’s getting a belly. He’s not a young active running around 16year old growing anymore. He’s eating like a 16 year old who’s runningaround and growing.I’ve really been trying to personally navigate this because my son is on thespectrum but he does not have body shame. The last thing I would everwant to do is introduce that. So I’ve just been kind of talking to him aboutenergy levels. Like saying like hey when you’re ordering, once you starttracking. Because for him, being able to work and being able to focus is likea super important thing to him.So I’ve been trying to figure out a way to like start talking about this.Because for me, it’s not that he has a belly. To me, it’s like when I see it I’mlike hm, I’m hoping he’s not getting too much like sugar and things like that

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

because I know him. He loves his cakes, and he loves his treats. He’s oldenough now mama’s not gonna dictate his eating decisions. I don’t care ifhe is on the spectrum. I want him to be choosing.So I’ve just kind of been talking to him about hey, let’s monitor your energylevels. Let’s see. Are you more focused the next day? Like why don’t you? Iask him. I said what do you think about like just writing down what you eateach day so that you can track how that works for you when you work? Hewas just like that’s a good idea.So looking for like ways, like sometimes I think like if a child is carryingextra weight, don’t focus on the weight. Really think about the totality ofwhat’s going on in their life and find ways that like you may want toinfluence some eating decisions, not just so they can lose weight, but sothat they feel good. That they can be active in sports if they want to playsports, or whatever that is.

Lisa: Yeah. Well, this is funny Corinne. My son was really a chunky monkeywhen he was a little boy, junior high. The other day we were looking backthrough some pictures. He was like, “Mom, did you know I was fat?” We’vereally neutralized in our family the word fat. It doesn’t have any negativemeaning to it. He goes, “Did you know I was fat?” And I said yeah.He goes, “Why didn’t you tell me?” I said oh, honey, there was nothing totell. You were loved just as you were. I knew that over time if I neverbrought any judgment or value to your body, it would work itself out whenyou were ready. That is exactly what happened.I remember back then having some friends that were like oh, I don’t knowabout that. Are you on top of that? I remember just refusing to worry aboutit. I did the opposite of what was done to me because I had a similar bodyto his growing up. there was so much energy dedicated to the size of my

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

body, which in retrospect was not that big. That’s the ironic thing. Right?There was so much value and energy at family get togethers anddiscussion.Now here’s the irony. There was all this energy about my body. I want youto speak to this Corinne. There was all this energy about the body, but thenthere was like well let’s go to McDonald’s and get a shake, which was alsovery confusing. Hurry up and get skinny, but here eat this.

Corinne: Right. I think that that was kind of how I grew up. Like my momwas so worried about my weight, and rightly so. I was getting bullied everyday. I was coming home crying. It seemed to make sense that if I lostweight that would just like solve all my problems in school. Then she wasworried about her weight too.One minute we were dieting our butts off. Then the next minute she’d havea bad day at work, and we were ordering pizza and having a free for allweekend. Like if we ever wanted to connect, if we ever wanted tocelebrate, if we ever wanted to do those things, it was always around food.I think it is important for parents to be thinking about like what are maybesome of the unintended messages I might be sending with food, with thebody, with my talking, with my lack of talking, my lack of being in pictures.

Lisa: My comments about other people walking down the street or stars,whether their body has gotten bigger or littler.

Corinne: Yes, like just even innocent things like that. Then just listening toour kids and the way that they’re talking about stuff. Rather than getting uptheir butt about it, just ask. Why do you think that? Just to figure outwhere’s that coming from and stuff.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Lisa: Yeah, so I think the homework assignment, I always like to give mylisteners a homework assignment. So we’ll wrap up on this. The homeworkassignment today from Corinne is take an inventory. Take an inventory ofyour own beliefs about your body. Take an inventory of your beliefs aboutyour kid’s bodies. Take an inventory, listen to what you’re saying, listen towhat’s coming out of your mouth about your body, your kid’s body, otherpeople’s bodies.Take an inventory of the message or the theme you’re projecting aboutfood. Do we use food to soothe or celebrate? Take an inventory of am Ilistening to my kid when they talk about their body? What they like anddon’t like? Can I show up, even if it’s uncomfortable, and be present withthem when they’re talking about an uncomfortable topic like I don’t like mybody, or I’m being bullied, or I’m worried.Don’t just push it away? Oh, don’t worry about that. You’ll lose it one day.But show up listen. It’s that inventory that really is going to serve theconnection between us and our kids and really help them, right.

Corinne: Yeah. Then just one little add to that is not only don’t judgeyourself for what you find, but also don’t feel like this is an overnight fix. It’snot an overnight fix. It takes time. I always tell people it’s like it doesn’tmatter if it takes a long time. It matters if you’re working on it. Those smallimpacts will lead to big impacts later in life. So any little changes that you’remaking, you just never know when you’re going to have like a strong,powerful, positive influence in your child’s life when they’re in their 30s and40s and 50s and beyond.Lisa: It’s never too late to model something new, ever.

Corinne: Never.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Lisa: Never. So Corinne, if someone likes what they’re hearing, a womanbecause Corinne works with women. If someone’s listening, I’m sure there’llbe many people listening right now. They’re like wow, she speaks truth. Iwant to know more. Where can they go to learn more about loving theirbodies, and losing weight in a way that feels delicious? Where do they goto learn more about that?

Corinne: I would start with taking my free course. I have a free coursewhere I introduce the topics of losing weight, but it’s not calorie countingbased. It’s more about listening to the body, which is I have found, for myclients, is such a good way to model the types of real relationship that wewant to have food that can influence our children. It’s all about like I thinkI’ve had enough. Oh, I think I’m hungry.So it’s at nobsfreecourse.com. It’s just a three part video series, but it willreally speak to people who are especially parents who were a little fearfulthey’re going to pass down their dieting heritage or like obsession with foodand stuff to their kids. I’m very anti all of that. I just feel like weight loss canbe done in a much healthier, smarter, relaxed way than what the dietculture has taught us.Lisa: That is what I’ve learned from you. I mean, I learned there was norush. I learned, we could do a whole hour on all I’ve learned. I can come onyour podcast and talk about all I learned. But I have learned really patienceand understanding and curiosity and just a whole different way to lead mylife. Just regardless of what the number on that box that I step on says, Ilearned mental freedom.

Corinne: Yeah. That’s really what I want for women is we just have somuch. I just feel like sometimes we’re carrying around 40 pound weightbehind us all the time about what do we look like? What are we eating?What do we eat next? Should I eat this? Is this good? Is this bad? Is this

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

the wrong thing? Like it’s just time for women to, we are too freakingpowerful. We’re made for so much more than obsessing about what goesin our mouth and what our bodies look like all the time.

Lisa: It’s so true. I’ve given all that up. The amount of free time I have is likeoh, my goodness. I mean, it’s just crazy, the mental load. So if you areready to get rid of that mental load, I strongly encourage and recommendand endorse. Go grab that course. You absolutely will not be sorry.I mean Corinne and her team, and it is a team. It’s an army of amazingwomen and coaches, and it’s just an incredible group of people that I amprivileged to be a part of. So big shout out to all the no BS sisters out there.All right, I’m gonna end on this. I love me some Mr. Rogers. Y’all know that.He says knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all thebest opportunity for growing into the healthiest people. Let me say onemore time y’all. Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are right nowin this moment gives us all the best opportunity for growing into thehealthiest of people.

Corinne: Thank you for having me.Lisa: Corinne, it was a pleasure. All right everybody, go forth and do yourwork, do your homework, do your inventory. Until we meet again, I’mwishing you peaceful parenting.Thank you so much for listening today. I want to personally invite you tohead over to thepeacefulparent.com/welcome and sign up for my freepeaceful parenting minicourse. You’ll find everything you need to getstarted on the path to peaceful parenting just waiting for you over there atwww.thepeacefulparent.com/welcome. I can’t wait for you to get started.

Ep #140:Parenting for Positive Body Thoughtswith Corinne Crabtree

Real World Peaceful Parenting with Lisa Smith

Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. If you want moreinfo on how you can transform your parenting, visit thepeacefulparent.com.See you soon.